Jump! If you're learning to swim just jump in the water. Preferably if you have a life jacket or life guard within yelling distance. But jump. Overcome that fear and jump into that water. You'll get it...right? Wrong? If I jump in and don't know how to swim will I sink soundlessly to the bottom? Will I drown? Will nature kick in and I'll somehow figure out how not to drown silently or while kicking fiercely? Jump! And find out. But how about ensuring that there is some sort of safety apparatus in place first? Look around and observe if there is a life guard...jump with a trusted companion in the water waiting for you. Jump with a life vest on or be sure there's a life saver handy. In life we have to all JUMP eventually. Jump into that position that you know you can do but are fearful of the responsibilities...Jump into the relationship that you have been praying for and that has appeared. Jump into marriage..with the right person. Jump off the diving board and into the sparkling water when all you want to do is stay firmly planted on the ground. It's scary but it can be done. The safety of jumping is the preparation. You have prepared yourself for that job. You have prepared for this relationship. You have the tools necessary to move. Jumping takes action. It forces us to move. Otherwise we can stagnate and allow fear to rot us in one spot. Use the emotion as a catalyst to be in the space that you desire. Now, ready, set.....JUMP!

My youngest niece, Chaeli, is the juiciest brown baby I have ever seen. She is 10 mos full of life, two teeth and chunky legs that take her as far and as fast as possible. Looking at her walk is fun. When she started to walk she'd take a few steps..stumble...fall on her cushioned behind...look up at you and smile...then wait for the "clap"...Yea! Chaeli you did it!!!!! Now her steps are firmer and steadier and she takes them with more ease. She still stumbles and falls but she gets right back up and looks at you...smiles....Yea! Chaeli you did it!!!!! I want to be like my niece. I want to learn how to walk in this journey of life and know that I'll stumble and fall tons of times before I am able to walk steadily. I want to get up after I've fallen and smile...clap to myself...Yea! Egypt you did it!!!! You made a mistake, you learned a lesson, you cried a few tears...but you did it! That's the only way to truly experience life. You have to stumble and fall. You have to get your "bum" hurt a few times to really get you steady for the walk of life. Yea! You did it!!!

I am looking forward to the peace and quiet that the end of summer affords. I am ready for my son to begin 4th grade and return his structured schedule. I am ready to fuss with him over homework and bedtime. I am ready for my home to return to some sort of normalcy where all I day each day is my work and not double as a full time stay at home mother as well as corporate employee. I am tired. My butt is worn out. I have had my fill and I am so ready for summer to end.....

I need to exercise. I am probably one of the laziest women you will ever meet. I have all good intentions of walking or jogging but when it's time to actually perform I cower out. But I know the more I exercise the more my muscles will develop and firm up. In the same way we need to exercise other muscles....the muscles of character, discipline, responsibility, security, courage. These are muscles that if not exercised will also lose tone and appear without form. We need to daily practice/exercise our character...put in the work necessary to be the person we are "when no one is looking." We need to exercise the muscle of discipline. Like exercising our bodies we can't just say it's something we need to do..we actually have to put in the physical movement necessary to achieve our goals. How do we exercise these character traits? By doing the things we know we NEED to do even when we don't FEEL like it. Start small. Make a habit of opening your bills and paying them on time. Turn negative self talk into positive affirmations. Practice the art of saying No when you need to. Stand up for yourself when inside you're literally terrified. Exercise. Exercise. Exercise these muscles in order to achieve the life you desire.

Being the melanin infused woman that I am I tend not to tan easily. And I so envy women who walk around with what looks like intoxicatingly attractive tan lines. Evidence that they have been stung or kissed by the sun. My week in St.Croix produced tan lines that I am so excited about. Two lighter brown lines on my chocolate berry skin are evidence that in reality I was in paradise for a week and was not dreaming. I was away from the hustle..in a place where there are two roads and not six lane highways. I experienced the lap of luxury while eating mangoes for breakfast. lunch.and dinner. Saw lizards of every description claim their piece of the pie. And soaked in water so blue and exotic it was like being in a land of make believe. I enjoyed my vacation thoroughly and have my tan lines to prove it.....

Sometimes when we say we love someone or that we're in love we are thinking of ourselves. We are enjoying just how well that person makes us feel and what they do for us. We talk about what they do for us to make us feel so good. We forget that love is not selfish. Love will require you to do things that you don't feel like doing. Love will not always be about what that person can do for you. It's about how YOU show it. It's an action and it causes you to be IN action. It's about doing things you may not feel like doing at the time. You may have to wake up early to pick up aspirin for your Love's aching head. Or you may have to do a load of laundry in the middle of the night when you'd rather be fast asleep. Love may require you to entertain when all you want to do is rest. Love is about giving and receiving; it's a healthy balance between the two. But if you're honest with yourself, how often are you giving? How often are your hands open to receive? It's not just about the material exchange. Love is about the emotional and physical exchange; the sacrificial exchange...We want our mates to give selflessly...their time, their feelings, their honesty, their affection, their love..and we want it in our time. But when our mates..our loves...need to receive the same time or affection or honesty or discipline we say..."that's just how I am" and so we aren't able to give back or reflect what we want. Love requires discipline. The discipline to give of yourself when you don't want to. And if you want to receive this type of holistic love from your mate it is imperative that you start by showing/doing it yourself.

Are you woman enough to admit what your strongholds are? Am I woman enough to admit this to myself or someone else? Our strongholds are the emotional ties that we allow to control us..our thoughts and in turn our behavior. They are the barriers we believe we can't get rid of or overcome. The bad habits that we give power to because of how powerless we feel. They are the thoughts that we succumb to on an almost religious level. The images in our head that we feverishly hold onto. The desires that burn within. Strongholds can be broken. There are no fortresses that are impregnable..unless we choose them to be. When we acknowledge that something or someone has a stronghold over us we admit that this is an area that demands attention. We begin the process with that statement.....______ has a stronghold over me. Now what do you do with that. You either feed it with your feelings of helplessness or destroy it with your will power and determination. Think about it. Emotions such as helplessness are easy and passive traits. We experience them without even thinking. But to be strong and develop will power demands work. We have to work at that muscle. Work at that belief that you can overcome any thought and in turn any behavior. Strong holds are there to polish your character and show you just who you are. Welcome them like you would any challenge and then celebrate in your victory when you overcome.

So beautiful and so smooth. Skin like rare chocolate. Makes you want to reach out and just touch it to see if it's real. And wisdom that is unnatural. A gift from her ancestors, maybe? A woman whose energy is raw and pure. A woman who loves her children and sees their goodness but also their humaness and corrects them when they are wrong. A woman who will tell it like it is. This is a woman who is so unlike me yet I find her comforting. Ms.Gwen, my love's mother...a woman who looks like me who i find beautiful.

when i think of my little brown boy
i automatically grin.
this little male child
whose hands are shaped like mine
and bone structure resembles me.
who asks why
and still spontaneously gives me
great hugs and kisses.
this little brown boy
whose eyes well with tears
at times.
whose laugh makes me melt
all the time.
whose smile makes me day
every time.
my yums....
my son.....
my love....

Women Who Look Like Me I find stunningly beautiful. Is that an arrogant statement? A tribute to my narcissistic self? Women Who Look Like Me are like the first rays of light on a new day. Like that glass of cold water when you're parched. Women Who Look Like Me are like really well written poetry that you read over and over because you keep trying to understand it. Like a bouquet of unexpected wild flowers. Women Who Look Like Me are vulnerable and wide and open and not scared to speak up for themselves and say No and mean it and Yes with the softest whisper. I know Women Who Look Like Me and it's vanity when I see them because they are such interesting and amazing reflections. I look and I stare and I smile and I wonder...do you know that your'e a Woman Who Looks Like Me?

Imagine if we could do that. Shed the layer of who we are and take on the skin/covering of someone else. This could be their physical appearance or their emotional attributes. But would we be able to change "our skin" like we do our desktop wall papers or backgrounds or cell covers? If I could change my skin..would I? Who would I be? What would I want to look like? And in so doing would it mean that I didn't care for "the skin I'm in?" Would there be others who would want to change their skin for mine...for my appearance..for my personality? I love the skin that I'm in. Sometimes I don't like it..but I do love it. I am who I am. I am comfortable being more of an introvert than a social butterfly. I am well pleased with my lithe size instead of voluptuous curves. I am happy being silly and goofy and thinking butterflies are the most exquisite things God ever made. My skin allows me to take chances in love and think about the consequences....sometimes after and not before. My skin I'm in creates an environment for people to be themselves and feel safe. My skin covers a lady..and that is what I am. My skin...my outer layer and my inner softness allows me to be me without fear.

”The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments ofcomfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge andcontroversy.”Martin Luther King Jr.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”Alexander Graham Bell

”Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”George Bernard Shaw

"Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what theworld needs is people who have come alive."Howard Thurman

Why do we try and hide it so much? Why are we embarrassed by our sensitivity as though it were a curse? We all try to be so tough and wear a mask...our pretend selves. People who are sensitive are described as weird or weak or soft or..something. Something that's not good. But our sensitivity is a sign of our purity. It's the side of ourselves that we can't hide. The side that feels raw energy and interprets without boundaries. It's who we are when no one is watching; no one can hear and no one can touch us. It's who we are at our natural selves. I am so sensitive and I'm not ashamed to say it.

This incredible journey called life has so many peaks and valleys..so many uncharted areas to explore...so many novel things to learn. There is just so much to experience. Often times when we are in a relationship we may have our own interests and our mate has theirs. That's ok because it allows each of you to continue to bring interesting ideas into your love bubble. But sometimes the interests and ideas are so opposite that it's difficult to meet in the middle and do things together. You enjoy going out on a weekly basis..he prefers chilling in his boxer shorts at home. You love going to museums and plays..he'd prefer mud wrestling and a good hip hop concert. Again, there's nothing wrong with that. It adds spice! But one thing that is really joyous is when you can explore new things with your mate. You may despise the rodeo with a vengeance but your mate adores it..hold his hand and enjoy the show together. Engaging in new things together creates such an incredible bond! When you know that you share in a new experience with your love...share in the joys of this life together with your love..you know that you are safe. It is safe to want to learn new things..to grow in different areas...to want to try things. You know that your mate has your back and is willing to do them with you and this cements your bond. It's so easy to do too and the change that is expected in life can occur organically..with both of you looking in the same direction.

I am often thinking of confidence...what makes a woman confident? What separates women who are confident from women who are not? What are some signs that a woman is confident?

1. Belief in yourself - accepting your uniqueness
2. Courage to stand up for what you believe
3. Discipline to say No
4. Continued growth
5. Ability to embrace life fully
6. Understanding there is a power greater than you
7. Ability to apologize

What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate. ~Henry David Thoreau

Just as much as we see in others we have in ourselves. ~William Hazlitt

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I gave birth to Yums at home. It was an incredible experience. I was surrounded by a beautiful environment and was able to participate freely in my birthing process. As wonderful as it was there was pain....a lot of it! I used herbal tea as my pain killers. The pain was the pull my hair out, use a profound amount of profanity and call upon God to deliver me type of pain. At one point I felt as if I were being torn apart; shortly after that I felt this great expulsion and then blissful relief. Right after that moment I said...ok, I can do this again! I gave birth to my son through a lot of pain and discomfort but it was completely worth it. I thought about this with our life experiences. There are times that we are in the midst of giving birth to something great....confidence, a new beginning, security...but it's too painful. We are unable to get through the birthing process because it doesn't feel good. We don't want to deal with the discomfort, the anxiety, the gut wrenching hurt in order to make it to the other side. And the amazing thing is that what we will birth will be beyond description. It will be inexplicably beautiful. We will understand that we had to experience the debilitating pain to bring forth new life. We are able to do it naturally. We don't need prescription drugs or alcohol or some other distraction to make it through the process. We need to remember that no matter how much it hurts in the moment, when the pain is over there will be a new life.

Here I am
Naked and open before you....
Barefoot
Loving
Eager
Here I am
Hopeful
Scared
Ready
Here I am
in the midst of
taking the next step....

You know that feeling that you get right before you get or accomplish what you've been dying for! It's like a rush! But there's also anxiety associated with that feeling. You may have just paid off you're debt and have accomplished the goal of being DEBT FREE but then what do you do? Purchase a new vehicle or buy a new home or charge that "fierce" new dress. You've met the man of your dreams and he is beautiful! Certainly something must be wrong. He opens the door for you and calls to check on you; he cares about your needs and thinks you have the prettiest feet imaginable. Of course he must be gay, right? So instead of embracing what you have wanted you start to imagine that he's lying about something or at any moment the other shoe will fall. What that does is create drama. Now you start to have an attitude because in your mind he's cheating. Or you start to take on your lead role in CSI and snoop through receipts, his phone..his email. Something must be up and you're going to find it! In the end, you create in your reality what you thought of in the recesses of your mind. You sabotage what you desire so much because in reality you may not feel that you deserve it. What we believe about ourselves, in our core, manifests in how we behave in our relationships or in how we go after what we want. If we really don't believe in ourselves we won't believe we deserve to be happy or to have all that our hearts desire. Remember the way you sabotage something can manifest in different ways...your thoughts, your actions, your behavior, your moods. Start with your internal clean up. Discard those negative and ugly beliefs you hold true about yourself. EMBRACE what is for you and what has been blessed upon you and know in your spirit that you deserve it.