just juicy for no reason!

Lil cousin and plus one..looking like her bodyguard..

SMH....fat baby!

2006 - long hair don't care

 

2008 - Birthday weekend

2010

2011 - 70's party

2010 - saved the best for last..my wedding day!

My boys at the circus 2012

Please listen in tonight when my husband, Hotep, is on The Love Doctor Show. He'll be a part of panel of men who will be discussing everything from relationships to what prevents men from committing. It's sure to be interesting and revealing. To listen, go to www.twinflamesinlove.com and click on The Love Doctor Show to hear it live on the web. You can call in for questions at 714-242-5155.

Blessings,
egypt

For real for real!

I've started the second half of her 6 week abs workout and it is madness! She is a maniac with those planks and variations of them. But what I like about her is that her workout isn't too lengthy and I can feel as well as see the results.

It was difficult at first and I found myself ridiculously out of breath and incredibly sore but I can say that I'm finally starting to see a bit more of "me pre- pregnancy." As mentioned before, I'm definitely not naturally athletic so this journey has been quite challenging but I have to say I'm really starting to enjoy it.

I feel as if I've got so many changes, personal ones, going on all at the same time! My hair...my body...and with both I have to exercise a great deal of patience as well as self love. There's no use in getting the body right or having fun growing out my hair if I'm going to practice any form of negative self talk. Internally I'm working out too and getting just as fine inside!

This right here...changing and expanding and growing...is living to me...

haircut 9/7/11

I'm so excited about my hair! I'm in a process of transition that has me a little bit giddy. After about 15 years of wearing locs I cut them on September 7,2011. I'd thought about cutting them for years but never quite had the courage to do so. I allowed my fears of looking funny with no hair hinder me. I worried that I needed to get my "skin just right" before I could make such a drastic move. I felt that I wouldn't like my reflection or that my husband or sons would worry that their friends thought I looked like a boy. I let all my fears stop me. But something curious happened as I awaited the birth of my son. I became fearless. And just like that I asked my husband to cut off all of my locs...and he did.

So for the past 6 months I've been sporting about an inch of hear on my head. It's been wonderful! I get up and brush it. I make a trip to the barber every two weeks and for about $10 dollars I get my hair right. My plan was to keep it super short throughout the summer and maybe in the fall start growing it out again; but being the complete Gemini that I am I decided last week that to heck with the summer...I want to start growing it out now!

I haven't had my hair natural and bushy in about 20 years. When I was 18 years old I decided to grow out my perm and embrace my natural kinky hair. At that time it was not popular to have "nappy" hair but for my entire college years I kept it funky which was quite against the grain. I didn't really know what to do with my hair so I'd keep it pulled back and sometimes braided until at 23 I decided to loc it. My locs grew beautifully over the years and for the majority of that journey I enjoyed my hair. Like most black women I didn't think my hair could grow, but my locs defied that myth and they grew well past my shoulders. I'd curl them and style them and they were..me.

But over time I found myself having a deep desire to cut them off. My ex husband had started them while we were dating and I couldn't help but feel that I was carrying around his energy in my hair still. I believed, as I still do, that our hair carries energy. With locs, there is so much energy contained in each loc, and I felt myself needed to let go. The catharsis I experienced when my hair was cut was liberating. I felt a rebirth with them gone.

Now here I am, at 38, ready to start over and I'm so excited about this journey I'm about to take. I'm sure I'll have days I won't love how my hair looks but I can feel the peace deep within that no matter what it will be beautiful. This is the second half of my natural hair journey and I just know the best is yet to come......

I completed my 30 for 30 day challenge at the end of January; here's what I've been doing since then..

Started Jillian Michael's 6 week Abs..I'm in week 4. I do this about 3 times a week..sometimes more.

I've also been walking since the weather has been nice.

I find that even though I have a pretty tight schedule as a mother and wife I can take at least thirty minutes per day to get my exercise on.

In addition, I've definitely increased my water intake. I keep a gallon by my desk as I work and add lemon or apple cider vinegar throughout the day as I drink it. I'm trying to reduce my carbs intake and up my veggie and fruits. I need to replace my broken blender so that I can start making smoothies again. Occasionally I'll juice up some carrots and celery with ginger which is quite tasty!

The more I exercise, although I may not love it, the easier it's becoming and in some weird way I look forward to it and miss that burn when I don't do it!

Next month...spinning!

All of it.
Or at least that's what I tell myself to avoid getting stuck.
In my head.
About how I should look..
at this point.
22 weeks after the birth of my son.

So i love my belly.
the roundness and softness that's a reminder
that i carried my son
for 35 weeks...early but perfect.

i love my belly..
the way it feels when i'm happy over
a cinnamon coffee cake....cinammon dulce latte...hot peppermint tea..a fresh ripe mango..banana flavored yogurt...pie crust..pizza...tofu burgers...lentil soup...fresh water with lemon slices...tomatoes..green olives...roti...pistachios...
when it's happy cause i've fed it good...

and even when i don't love all of my belly..i love that i'm trying...
and learning to love the adjustment that is such a reflection of how life is.
not always perfect but good to us.

I started the year out with a 30 for 30 day challenge. I challenged myself to exercise for 30 minutes per day for 30 days. To some, this may sound quite simple; but because I historically have been incredibly lazy when it comes to physical exercise it proved to be completely challenging.

I succeeded in my endeavor though. I joined a gym and faithfully went during lunch time or after work consistently. I even purchased at home exercise videos for those sluggish days that I didn't want to leave the home. I discovered some things along the way. I don't like to exercise. It's hard.

But I did it and that's what counts. Yet, when I put on my clothes I still feel...not quite like myself. This has caused me to feel less confident and attractive. I've never struggled with feeling overweight in my life. I've always been more on the underweight side and grew being called everything from "tiny winy" to "skinny" to "olive oyle." I can remember being told when I was in college by a particulary handsome young man that once I had about 3 kids then my body would be ok. So that paints a picture of how thin I was..likely 90 pounds soaking weight.

Fast forward to the birth of my first son and I gained enough weight to make me feel sexy. I had curves in the right places and just enough to be what I considered cute. I didn't have to exercise and didn't. I pretty much ate what I wanted and lived happily knowing that I was one of the "lucky ones" who didn't have to exercise regularly to look fine.

Well life has an interesting way of showing you how human you are. Since the birth of my second son, now five months old, I have been unable to lose my baby fat. As mentioned before, it's affected my self esteem in a way that I wasn't quite prepared for.

I'm challenging myself to continue exercising, eating healthier and more importantly, learning to love myself through my transitions. Even if I don't see a smooth, flat belly when I look down and I wonder if I'm still in my first trimester, I have to learn how to appreciate this period in my life. I will probably never be the wafer thin person I was in college; nor do I want to. I may never even be the svelete and sexy person I was 12 years ago when my Yums was born.

I have to focus on getting healthy. Eating the right foods. Understanding that I have to reduce things that aren't good for me and increase the healthy stuff not just to "be fine" but to live a long life. Because I am now forced to exercise I have to adopt a lifestyle that has been foreign to me but is necessary.

So I challenge myself to not only "keep on keeping on" through diligent exercises but also to grow emotionally along the way.