Little things help when it's rainy out and in.
I probably shouldn't allow certain things to bother me so much but I guess it's because of my sensitive nature that I do.

Here are a few of my most treasured pick me ups...

• Jill Scott...any Jill Scott
• Lavender essential oil
• Lemon/ginger Tea
• Musiq SoulChild - my favorite is his last album, onmyradio
• A hot steamy cup of coffee brewed strong
• Fresh flowers of any type
• Open windows for fresh air
• A red velvet cupcake
• Fred Hammond [i love gospel music]
• My husband. Always my husband.
• Nag champa Incense
• A clean home and uncluttered work environment
• Hearing my son say...hey mama [melts my heart every single time]
• A clear head
• A balanced perspective
• The ability to start over....

As I tucked my son in bed and kissed him goodnight last night he said....

when you smile it lights up the whole world.

It doesn't get any better than that for me.....

Sunday evenings are my favorite day of the week. During this time the clothes have been washed and put away. The home smells like fabric softener. The kitchen is clean asides from dinner dishes. The candles are lit and the house smells like lavender, mango and a hit of nag champa here and there. Usually there is something old playing on the radio. Yes, the radio. Not the Ipod. Everyone is still and ready for the week to begin. I'm at peace although Monday morning looms around the corner. My son is at home and happy. He's had a good weekend with fresh memories. My husband is loving me and kissing me on the neck as we make dinner. All is well in my world.

But so am I. Selfish. For the longest time I wanted to blame this seemingly flawed but human trait on his father. He has to get that selfishness from him....of course. But he is selfish because I made him that way.

I have loved my son so hard that I gave to him at times without regard. For the most part he is an only child so I've given in to many whims and fancies because he was my baby boy. For a long time his chores were minimal and even then I didn't demand that he do them regularly. I was loving him; that was how I justified my misbehavior.

So when my 11 year old seems ungrateful and when he behaves selfishly I have to reflect on myself. At 11 years old he is my reflection. He behaves the way he's been raised. So if he behaves selfishly and without gratitude its because that's how he's been groomed.

How humbling and humiliating it is to admit this. But how necessary it is to make changes! I am responsible for who he will grow into. Every day I have to demand greatness from him and that may come at the expense of telling him NO and making sure he follows through with tasks. The best way that I can love him is to show him not in gifts and gadgets but in discipline. The only way he will learn about consequences and about boundaries is through his parents.

This is my task as his mother.