We all want someone to crave us. We all want the experience of craving someone. In a relationship it is important that this fundamental need is met. I crave you. I cherish, respect, appreciate, value and am excited by you. I crave you. If these needs are not met the unraveling of the relationship may begin. We need to feel that our mates cherish who we are; that they respect our individuality and unique differences; that they value who we are and what we bring into the relationship and that they continue to get excited by us. What happens when we feel our needs are not met is that we seek their fulfillment elsewhere. And we likely will find it with that "friend" of the opposite sex, or the sensitive coworker or ex that always seems to have a listening ear. Let's begin the practice of craving (cherishing, respecting, appreciating, valuing and being excited by) our mate and letting them know just how much we crave them. It may provide the salve to a hurting relationship.
In no particular order...
- chase butterflies
- travel extensively
- shop for sundresses
- shop for lingerie
- decorate spaces
- sell sea shells on the beach
- make smell goods for the home
- learn new things and share them
- develop support groups for teenage girls
- make raising brown boys a national phenomenon
- open a book store
- write
- open a coffee shop
- read
- find the most interesting blogs
- have an international ring of women who find themselves beautiful
"Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature." - taken from changingminds.org
Trust your inner voice when your external environment tells you differently. Trust what you see when your ears hear something different. Trust what you believe when others tell you that you are wrong. Trust that no matter what you will be ok.
Trust your inner voice when your external environment tells you differently. Trust what you see when your ears hear something different. Trust what you believe when others tell you that you are wrong. Trust that no matter what you will be ok.
‘Nothing we can do can changes the past, but everything we do changes the future.’
— Ashleigh Brilliant
— Ashleigh Brilliant
There is nothing more exhilirating than planning a get away! A chance to get AWAY from the routine and monotony of every day living invokes joy. It doesn't have to be an elaborate trip to create joy. Often times looking into a untraveled part of your city or state is exciting. The act of choosing a new destination, finding accomodations (from simple to luxurious) and deciding upon the time of departure is freeing and joyful. Momentarily you are already there. Emotionally you can deal with the daily stress because you know that a reprieve is coming. Plan to get away and see what it does for your spirits.
Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” - Miriam Beard
“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” - Henry Miller
The journey not the arrival matters.” - T. S. Eliot
Every girl dreams of a big wedding, white dress and her fair prince, right? With half of all marriages ending in divorce are we dreaming of our perfect wedding or our perfect mate? We usually know the song we'll walk to; where we want to get married and how large our bridal party will be before we even have a fiancee. We prepare and prepare for that big day with passion and vigor! We can't wait for the ring and the parties and the gifts and of course the honeymooon! All along we believe we have Mr.Right because he proposed; but how often do we prepare ourselves and our relationship for the marriage as opposed to the wedding? After the honeymoon and excitement of planning for the wedding has waned are we ready for the real life committment? Are we prepared for the insecurity and perfectly human behavior? Can we deal with dirty socks on the floor or a lackluster attitude towards work or life or sex? After we have gained the coveted title of " Mrs. "do we then evaluate if our "Mr." (the beloved husband) share the same Values, Interests and Principles as ours? Some may say, why get married when statistics show it's likely to fail. Why take that risk? If it isn't broken why fix it by getting married, right? Preparation for your marital lifestyle as opposed to your opulent wedding day is insurance to a healthy committment. It's not fool proof but if we expend the same energy into creating the system for a healthy union then it's a risk that will be worth it.
My son left for the summer yesterday. I won't see him for another 2 months. Although he has been leaving each and every summer for five years I still get sad when I say good bye. I had an interesting experience before he left yesterday; the first in five years. Yums was sitting by the gate with my love and I walked about 30 feet away to buy a pack of gum for him. I couldn't have been gone for more than 30 seconds but when I turned to walk back to them Yums was gone. I looked in amazement at my love and asked him.....where is Yums? To which he replied, they had to take him on the plane. Never in this leaving process had I not been allowed to kiss my son's cheeks and tell him I love him before he walked onto the plane. I broke down. Right in the airport I started crying and it was almost like I couldn't help myself. The manager noticing my distress allowed me to go on the PACKED and WAITING TO LEAVE plane and go to the very last seat where my son was sitting to give him a kiss and hug goodbye. I appreciated that more than she knew and was able to leave some of my energy with my son and take some of his.
Interesting article from biomatch.com
Love is the affinity experienced between two people who are naturally able and willing to tune into one another's emotional, intellectual, and physical states - and respond to them in a nurturing and a stimulating way. Therefore love is a relationship. If Love is a relationship what is Lust? What is the difference between love and lust?Lust has two rather different meanings: an 'eagerness to possess' and a 'strong sexual desire'. The two meanings are often confused. We are not concerned with possession, which is a feature of oppression. Like you, we're far more interested in sexual desire!
Circumstantial lust - Circumstantial lust is the force that carries you through a one-night stand. It's based on a temporary detachment from the intellectual and emotional expressions of everyday life.This lust has more to do with self-gratification than genuine sexual desire. Its power wanes when life gets back to normal, or the affair becomes routine. And so do those so-called feelings of love that previously felt so strong.Circumstantial lust is common amongst those who are easily influenced by media images, and whose choices are limited by their commitments and positions in society.
Ultra-circumstantial lust - Extreme circumstances lead to ultra-circumstantial lust. The extreme circumstance (pain, fear, suffering) induces excessive hormonal activity which, in turn, creates a strong sexual desire.This type of sexual desire can be addictive. Arousal only becomes possible when linked with pain and suffering. The results can be seriously damaging to the innocents who get drawn in - as well as to the perpetrators who are locked in a spiral of repetitive degradation and increasing self-loathing.
Genuine lust - Genuine lust stems from sexual chemistry. It's the natural and inevitable result of physical attraction and physical compatibility - the two essential ingredients of sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry is a powerful force. It can induce strong sexual desire towards people who don't have filmstar looks and social or economic status. And it does so without the need for props, toys, or games.The lust that's born of physical compatibility is the only type of lust that goes with a loving relationship. A couple who combine physical chemistry with emotional and intellectual compatibility, and who act in objective and benevolent ways can create a profoundly contented and life-enhancing experience. That experience is commonly known as love.Love and lust are not interchangeable, although they naturally co-exist in a sexual love relationship. In many non-sexual relationships, love does perfectly well on its own without sexual desire.But what about the converse example? Can genuine lust exist in a sexual association that is not a loving relationship? Yes it can - although there are many people who would challenge that view.
Love is the affinity experienced between two people who are naturally able and willing to tune into one another's emotional, intellectual, and physical states - and respond to them in a nurturing and a stimulating way. Therefore love is a relationship. If Love is a relationship what is Lust? What is the difference between love and lust?Lust has two rather different meanings: an 'eagerness to possess' and a 'strong sexual desire'. The two meanings are often confused. We are not concerned with possession, which is a feature of oppression. Like you, we're far more interested in sexual desire!
Circumstantial lust - Circumstantial lust is the force that carries you through a one-night stand. It's based on a temporary detachment from the intellectual and emotional expressions of everyday life.This lust has more to do with self-gratification than genuine sexual desire. Its power wanes when life gets back to normal, or the affair becomes routine. And so do those so-called feelings of love that previously felt so strong.Circumstantial lust is common amongst those who are easily influenced by media images, and whose choices are limited by their commitments and positions in society.
Ultra-circumstantial lust - Extreme circumstances lead to ultra-circumstantial lust. The extreme circumstance (pain, fear, suffering) induces excessive hormonal activity which, in turn, creates a strong sexual desire.This type of sexual desire can be addictive. Arousal only becomes possible when linked with pain and suffering. The results can be seriously damaging to the innocents who get drawn in - as well as to the perpetrators who are locked in a spiral of repetitive degradation and increasing self-loathing.
Genuine lust - Genuine lust stems from sexual chemistry. It's the natural and inevitable result of physical attraction and physical compatibility - the two essential ingredients of sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry is a powerful force. It can induce strong sexual desire towards people who don't have filmstar looks and social or economic status. And it does so without the need for props, toys, or games.The lust that's born of physical compatibility is the only type of lust that goes with a loving relationship. A couple who combine physical chemistry with emotional and intellectual compatibility, and who act in objective and benevolent ways can create a profoundly contented and life-enhancing experience. That experience is commonly known as love.Love and lust are not interchangeable, although they naturally co-exist in a sexual love relationship. In many non-sexual relationships, love does perfectly well on its own without sexual desire.But what about the converse example? Can genuine lust exist in a sexual association that is not a loving relationship? Yes it can - although there are many people who would challenge that view.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.Robert Frost
It goes on. Life that is. Even in the darkest moments when everything seems to be going wrong life is in motion. Flowers are still blooming, grass is growing, babies are being born, and decisions are being made. When the pain of one experience is ending the soothing truth is that your life will continue.
It goes on. Life that is. Even in the darkest moments when everything seems to be going wrong life is in motion. Flowers are still blooming, grass is growing, babies are being born, and decisions are being made. When the pain of one experience is ending the soothing truth is that your life will continue.
Can Time Heal?
by Cheril Goodrich
There is a belief that time heals all wounds. The premise of this belief is that the further you get away from an event in time the less the pain is felt that is associated with the event. From a Spiritual standpoint, is this true?First of all to examine this concept, we must first address the idea of time. For something to be healing at a true Spiritual level it must involve a healing idea or, in other words, it must promote healing by offering an idea that can heal. Does time offer this? Is it possible for a non-feeling, non-caring idea, such as time, to give soothing to the soul when something happens that seems so catastrophic we do not have any idea how we can move beyond our pain? If all we have to look forward to is relief from a non-feeling source such as time, this calls into question our relationship to our Creator because, from this premise, time offers us a better way of healing. Perhaps this is not true at all. Perhaps we do not understand the provisions that God has provided for us when we are in such pain and so we rely on what we know. By relying on what we know we are apt to just make it through anyway we can. This does not necessarily heal the pain and some people go on for years not understanding how to move on.Sometimes we have to find a miracle to move on. This involves finding a strength that does not come from us. If it came from us we would know how to handle the misery. Instead it involves finding a place in our own mind where time does not rule. Finding this place means finding a place of peace that exists within all of us. We all have access to this state because we were created with this fail-safe sanctuary, but we have forgotten how to access it and use it. This state of mind is our solution, but until we remember that it is there, and appreciate it, we will turn to what we know.Learning that there are different levels of mind that we have access to places us in a position of control. We learn we do not have to wallow in pain or depression, but this takes practice. Our mind is like a horse that continually goes home to what it knows. In this case our mind believes its shelter is in time. Finding another level of mind where peace is prevalent shows us that we can move beyond any perceived problem and join with something Higher that can lead us to something we have never thought about. All ideas that can heal our pain, be it psychological or physical, and all solutions that can heal the world come out of this place that is found in our own mind, but we do not access it because we do not believe that it works because of what we have learned while living in time.We are living in perilous times. We are not being asked to heal the world, just ourselves of the internal pain and conflict that seems to be endless. How can peace come to the world if we cannot even find peace within our own mind? If we are not responsible for ourselves, then who is? If I blame another or blame circumstances that seem to be beyond my control, then I am a victim, and someone else controls my life. This is not the role God would have us play.Look for the solution in any circumstance that seems to be beyond your control. For every problem there is a solution. By concentrating only on the problem, the solution is removed from you by your own desire. By looking for and reaching for the solution, your mind will remember how to access the part of the mind where God abides. No one can do this for us, it is an individual choice that remains open to us, but is not evident unless we search for it. There is another way. The answer does not lie in time or in another idea that has been born in time. It is in our own mind. By learning to access and using another level of mind, we can heal not only ourselves, but also the world because accessing this part of our mind joins us with something Greater than ourselves. Learn to be a part of the healing force that will move the world beyond any perceived conflict. It all begins by learning to become master of your own mind.
by Cheril Goodrich
There is a belief that time heals all wounds. The premise of this belief is that the further you get away from an event in time the less the pain is felt that is associated with the event. From a Spiritual standpoint, is this true?First of all to examine this concept, we must first address the idea of time. For something to be healing at a true Spiritual level it must involve a healing idea or, in other words, it must promote healing by offering an idea that can heal. Does time offer this? Is it possible for a non-feeling, non-caring idea, such as time, to give soothing to the soul when something happens that seems so catastrophic we do not have any idea how we can move beyond our pain? If all we have to look forward to is relief from a non-feeling source such as time, this calls into question our relationship to our Creator because, from this premise, time offers us a better way of healing. Perhaps this is not true at all. Perhaps we do not understand the provisions that God has provided for us when we are in such pain and so we rely on what we know. By relying on what we know we are apt to just make it through anyway we can. This does not necessarily heal the pain and some people go on for years not understanding how to move on.Sometimes we have to find a miracle to move on. This involves finding a strength that does not come from us. If it came from us we would know how to handle the misery. Instead it involves finding a place in our own mind where time does not rule. Finding this place means finding a place of peace that exists within all of us. We all have access to this state because we were created with this fail-safe sanctuary, but we have forgotten how to access it and use it. This state of mind is our solution, but until we remember that it is there, and appreciate it, we will turn to what we know.Learning that there are different levels of mind that we have access to places us in a position of control. We learn we do not have to wallow in pain or depression, but this takes practice. Our mind is like a horse that continually goes home to what it knows. In this case our mind believes its shelter is in time. Finding another level of mind where peace is prevalent shows us that we can move beyond any perceived problem and join with something Higher that can lead us to something we have never thought about. All ideas that can heal our pain, be it psychological or physical, and all solutions that can heal the world come out of this place that is found in our own mind, but we do not access it because we do not believe that it works because of what we have learned while living in time.We are living in perilous times. We are not being asked to heal the world, just ourselves of the internal pain and conflict that seems to be endless. How can peace come to the world if we cannot even find peace within our own mind? If we are not responsible for ourselves, then who is? If I blame another or blame circumstances that seem to be beyond my control, then I am a victim, and someone else controls my life. This is not the role God would have us play.Look for the solution in any circumstance that seems to be beyond your control. For every problem there is a solution. By concentrating only on the problem, the solution is removed from you by your own desire. By looking for and reaching for the solution, your mind will remember how to access the part of the mind where God abides. No one can do this for us, it is an individual choice that remains open to us, but is not evident unless we search for it. There is another way. The answer does not lie in time or in another idea that has been born in time. It is in our own mind. By learning to access and using another level of mind, we can heal not only ourselves, but also the world because accessing this part of our mind joins us with something Greater than ourselves. Learn to be a part of the healing force that will move the world beyond any perceived conflict. It all begins by learning to become master of your own mind.
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Music really moves me. I love all types. I recently got Musiq Soulchild's latest album,"On My Radio." I haven't bought an album like this one in quite some time. I can put it on and listen to the entire thing without skipping songs and waiting for the "good ones." It seems the entire album was written for women. His lyrics definitely cater to a woman's soul and what she is hoping to hear from her loved one. One of my favorite songs is "Someone" (num 09). On this track he's singing about the type of woman he wants/needs and how he's found all of those things in this one woman.
"All that I hope for a friendship that's so pure A girl I can talk to bout whatever is on my heart A woman that needs me That trust and believes me That wont take my kindness as some kind of weakness A woman who bares her soul who is willing to let go That wants me to lead her but knows how to take control And when I am feeling down Cause things are going wrong She fills me up and makes me feel strong "
This album was made just for me.....
"All that I hope for a friendship that's so pure A girl I can talk to bout whatever is on my heart A woman that needs me That trust and believes me That wont take my kindness as some kind of weakness A woman who bares her soul who is willing to let go That wants me to lead her but knows how to take control And when I am feeling down Cause things are going wrong She fills me up and makes me feel strong "
This album was made just for me.....
I am in love with life.
Here are some things that produce squeals of delight..in no particular order..
1. Key Lime Pie (so very good)
2. Picnics
3. Sun dresses
4. Sunday evenings
5. Good music
6. Red velvet cupcakes (decadent)
7. Forgiveness
8. Yums big smile
9. Yums big hugs
10. Yums forever kisses
11. Yums telling me I look pretty
12. Chocolate babies
13. My loves touch (HIM)
14. My father's eyes
15. My mother's smile
16. My sister's laugh (laughs so hard she gets an asthma attack)
17. My sister's dimples
18. Yellow nail polish
19. Really highWedges
20. The SUN!
21. Everything about the beach
22. Bikinis
23. Orange, Red and all Earth Colors
24. The color White
25. Experiences
26. Weddings
27. Butterflies
28. Committment
29. Character
30. My so very beautiful girlfriends
31. "Do Over's"
32. A Good Book and a Rainy Day
33. My Love (HIM *sigh* so in love)
34. My sister's crazy home
35. My brother's oh so New York style!
36. Mascara
37. Opportunities
38. Writing
39. Really hot places
40. Really cold places
41. Traveling to these places
42. Days off
43. Sunflowers
44. Lavender
45. Coffee (*sigh* my addiction)
46. Starbucks
47. My BFF's smell (the same since we were 16)
48. Wine
49. Learning new things
50. Chess
51. Character.
That's it for now...but I really am grateful for life....
Thank you Creator for it....
Here are some things that produce squeals of delight..in no particular order..
1. Key Lime Pie (so very good)
2. Picnics
3. Sun dresses
4. Sunday evenings
5. Good music
6. Red velvet cupcakes (decadent)
7. Forgiveness
8. Yums big smile
9. Yums big hugs
10. Yums forever kisses
11. Yums telling me I look pretty
12. Chocolate babies
13. My loves touch (HIM)
14. My father's eyes
15. My mother's smile
16. My sister's laugh (laughs so hard she gets an asthma attack)
17. My sister's dimples
18. Yellow nail polish
19. Really highWedges
20. The SUN!
21. Everything about the beach
22. Bikinis
23. Orange, Red and all Earth Colors
24. The color White
25. Experiences
26. Weddings
27. Butterflies
28. Committment
29. Character
30. My so very beautiful girlfriends
31. "Do Over's"
32. A Good Book and a Rainy Day
33. My Love (HIM *sigh* so in love)
34. My sister's crazy home
35. My brother's oh so New York style!
36. Mascara
37. Opportunities
38. Writing
39. Really hot places
40. Really cold places
41. Traveling to these places
42. Days off
43. Sunflowers
44. Lavender
45. Coffee (*sigh* my addiction)
46. Starbucks
47. My BFF's smell (the same since we were 16)
48. Wine
49. Learning new things
50. Chess
51. Character.
That's it for now...but I really am grateful for life....
Thank you Creator for it....
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I read this from another blog today. I thought it was a fitting quote...
"...opposites may click, but similarities often stick. Opposites might attract, but maybe the old saying “two people who are in love don’t look at each other, they look in the same direction. "
I like to fit with my mate...
"...opposites may click, but similarities often stick. Opposites might attract, but maybe the old saying “two people who are in love don’t look at each other, they look in the same direction. "
I like to fit with my mate...
If the game of life is like chess why am I losing so miserably...at chess that is. I am learning to play again after many years and can't seem to keep up with the knights and rooks and horses. I can barely remember the names of the pieces much less how they move. Yet I continue to play to master the art and become a pro in my own right. So if life is like a game of chess is that why I've never been very good at playing games and have often been told that "I wear my heart on my sleeve" and have a difficult time masking my emotions. But I can see the necessity of knowing how to move and when to move and when to play certain positions. And in understanding my position I am less likely to be sensitive about it because I understand it. It is useful to know when to make a move in life...in your career, your relationships, your housing. You consider the entire situation (board) and look at what you have to work with (your pawns) and recognize when you need to make really big moves (your queen) and when to put a stop to certain things (CHECKMATE). I'm going to keep learning this game of chess and give myself time to understand it. In the same way I'm going to continue learning this game of life and what I need to do to win!
We sometimes apologize for being human and having human flaws. There are days that we may feel irritable or cranky and we apologize to our mates or friends for our behavior. There isn't anything wrong with being aplogetic to help your loved ones understand what's going on with you and to help you get things in perspective and start working on the problem. But none of us is perfect and as a result we will do things that show just how perfectly human we are. That doesn't excuse poor behavior but it does help to remind us that we are going to have moments or days when "we just aren't right." And then we move on and forward from those experiences. The thing is not to stay stuck in those feelings.
The saying is that when opportunity knocks..answer. There are times we regret experiences because we feel we allowed an opportunity to pass by. My love experience with life shows me that even when one opportunity is lost another one will always present itself. Life is not stagnant. As long as we are able to breathe we will always have the chance to say something, do something, create something or be something that we want. Now, when we belabor experiences our "next opportunities" will probably present themselves differently but the fact is they will be there. Never give up on yourself. Never beat yourself up for allowing something/someone to pass by. Use that same energy to possess the opportunity that you desire and make the most of it.
Gardening is therapeutic. Putting seeds into soil and watching something grow is joyful as it is a reminder of life. Understanding that something beautiful can grow from a tiny seed is a reminder of how we are able to grow individually. I love growing herbs like lemon balm, peppermint, thyme and lavender. They bring extra spice to my dishes and the beautiful pots in my window bring a smile to my face whenever I glance at them.
I had the opportunity yesterday to see my girlfriend's new baby girl. She is precious. She decided to come into the world months early so she's still in the hospital. But she is a fighter! She has shown that she wants to be here and is giving life her best shot. That strength and struggle is awesome to behold. Life begins with your first breath and ends with your last. When you're pregnant the doctors tell you when you can expect your child to be born but you don't know the exact moment that they will take their first breath. And when life ends you have no clue when the final breath will be taken. Knowing that puts life in perspective. What are you putting off for tomorrow because you assume you'll be here to do it? Is it resolving an issue with someone? Telling your child that you love them and are proud of them? Is it returning a phone call? Or maybe taking a much needed vacation? We are arrogant enough to believe that when we are ready we will have the opportunity to do these things. Your last breath will be just that....the final breath of air/energy in and out. What happens in between your first breath and last is entirely up to you. Make it count.
Is making love the panacea for all ailments in a relationship? Does creating energy and sharing it with your loved one actually create passion and cement the union? We know that oxytocin is released and bonding is created through the release in intimacy but does it end there? After the hormone has been released and the immediate feelings of togetherness have vanished what is left? Are you still intimate? And if there is never any physical intimacy in a relationship then does it doom the union or strengthen it? The problem lies in the "end all." If all there is is the sexual acts then there is little to build on when the perspiration has cooled and the longing has dissipated. What makes the relationship holistic is when there is balance between the physical intimacy, emotional connection, spiritual pairing and an organic foundation based on similar values and beliefs. So while a releasing session of love making may cure the immediate stress you feel if it occurs before it's time it can cloud the differences that are apparent and the warning signals that are glaring.
My boyfriend's sister, Kasha, is beautiful to me. She is a kindred butterfly. Growing, learning, becoming the woman she's meant to be. She intrinsically believes in love and lives life from a place of and in love. She has a smile that warms hearts and brings joy and makes you believe in the moment. She is vulnerable and willing to have experiences that bring extreme pleasure as well as pain. Kasha butterfly, a woman who looks like me who I find beautiful.
Embrace today with passion. No matter what you are doing, where you are going or what you need to do embrace it with passion. All that the day has to offer is yours. All you have to do is wrap your arms around it with vigor. Don't even think about it..just do it. Just be passionate about the day. Laugh. Sing. Dance. Play. Love. Smile. Be in passion today...
"People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I've learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one's reality to the person whom one lies, making that person one's master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person's view requires to be faked. And if one gains the immediate purpose of the lie - the price one pays is the destruction of that which the gain was intended to serve."
~p.788 of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
~p.788 of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
We often wonder why people do the things they do in relationships. Why people make certain decisions. Some judge and say that "so and so is stupid for dealing with such and such." It made me wonder about that. The word that kept resounding was hope. Hope - to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment. Hope springs eternal and because of it we sometimes make decisions that may seem foolish to others but in our minds..the fulfillment of our expectations makes it worth it. When our expectations aren't met we wonder why and then move on to faith. Faith - belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. What we are typically trusting in is blind faith. We have no proof from our partners that they may ever do what it is we would like them to do, be the person we want them to be or meet our expectations. Hope and faith are powerful human beliefs. However, both can lead to unhealthy patterns. In relationships there is nothing wrong with the hope and faith that things will work out; but if the "proof is in the pudding" that things aren't working out it's time to use that same hope and faith that you can leave the relationship with love, heal your wounds and live your life to its fullest.
The quote of the Day is magnificent!
"History never looks like history when you are living through it."John W. Gardner
Isn't that the truth? When we are in the moment we tend to forget that we have lived through the experience before. And if we haven't, someone has. So in the moment we feel as though noone has ever experienced our pain, our heartache, noone has ever had to live through what we are feeling. Noone could possibly understand how we feel. But the beauty of the experience is that you will live through it to see another day and have another experience. It will be your history and in turn you will have the tools necessary to help someone else make theirs....
"History never looks like history when you are living through it."John W. Gardner
Isn't that the truth? When we are in the moment we tend to forget that we have lived through the experience before. And if we haven't, someone has. So in the moment we feel as though noone has ever experienced our pain, our heartache, noone has ever had to live through what we are feeling. Noone could possibly understand how we feel. But the beauty of the experience is that you will live through it to see another day and have another experience. It will be your history and in turn you will have the tools necessary to help someone else make theirs....
Ain't I a Woman
by Sojourner Truth
That man over there say
a woman needs to be helped into carriagesand lifted over ditches
and to have the best place everywhere.Nobody ever helped me into carriages
or over mud puddles
or gives me a best place. . .
And ain't I a woman?
Look at meLook at my arm!
I have plowed and plantedand gathered into barns
and no man could head me. . .
And ain't I a woman?
I could work as muchand eat as much as a man--
when I could get to it--and bear the lash as well
and ain't I a woman?I have born 13 children
and seen most all sold into slaveryand when I cried out a mother's grief
none but Jesus heard me. . .
and ain't I a woman?
that little man in black there saya woman can't have as much rights as a man
cause Christ wasn't a womanWhere did your Christ come from?
From God and a woman!Man had nothing to do with him!
If the first woman God ever madewas strong enough to turn the world
upside down, all alonetogether women ought to be able to turn it
rightside up again.
by Sojourner Truth
That man over there say
a woman needs to be helped into carriagesand lifted over ditches
and to have the best place everywhere.Nobody ever helped me into carriages
or over mud puddles
or gives me a best place. . .
And ain't I a woman?
Look at meLook at my arm!
I have plowed and plantedand gathered into barns
and no man could head me. . .
And ain't I a woman?
I could work as muchand eat as much as a man--
when I could get to it--and bear the lash as well
and ain't I a woman?I have born 13 children
and seen most all sold into slaveryand when I cried out a mother's grief
none but Jesus heard me. . .
and ain't I a woman?
that little man in black there saya woman can't have as much rights as a man
cause Christ wasn't a womanWhere did your Christ come from?
From God and a woman!Man had nothing to do with him!
If the first woman God ever madewas strong enough to turn the world
upside down, all alonetogether women ought to be able to turn it
rightside up again.
My sister has four delicious children and three of them are the prettiest brown girls you'll ever see. I like to think of them as beautiful brown flowers. That's what they look like to me. Of these three brown flowers the middle one is Noni. Noni is petite with a mind of her own and the biggest smile that can hold on the face of a three year old. Normally when I see my sister I give all the kids hugs and kisses and talk to them but I eventually gravitate to the turkey of a baby, Chaeli. She is just delicious! Noni is usually somewhere around playing and doing her own thing. The last time I saw them Noni said, "I have a new dollhouse. You want to see it? Come on!." So of course I went and played with her and we had some quality one on one time. It occurred to me that that was her way of claiming some time with me. She's not quite the baby anymore and not the big sister either so she's in that special position of a middle child. I enjoyed playing with her and it reminded me how much I need to pay attention. Pay attention to all of my nieces and nephew. Pay attention to my son. Pay attention to my sisters. Pay attention to my parents. Pay attention to my friends. Just really stop and pay attention. Noni got my attention through a simple request. Sometimes it's not until something tragic happens that we begin to pay attention and then it can be too late. I'm going to pay attention today to the people that matter...
Can you be happy and energetic if those around you aren't? If your friends or your mate are sulking or hurting about something is it selfish of you to maintain a peacefulness that doesn't allow their mood to affect yours? I think as humans we want to be so empathetic towards our loved ones that we embrace their pain. And while to an extent that is self sacrificing, it can also prove to be unhealthy. In order to help others you have to be centered within and have the ability to maintain your mood. You can be supportive and loving and at the same time set boundaries for yourself. You will be happy even if your mate is in "a mood." You can continue to feel joyful even if a friend is going through difficulties. Help that friend, talk to them, love them and continue to feel your joy. Your joy will likely rub off on them. I believe we take many years off of our lives when we create stress in environments where they aren't there; when you allow someone else's crisis to become yours. Remain in your positive emotional space and be that inspiration to someone....
