My father and I haven't always had the best relationship. I've challenged almost everything he's ever told me, in part because of my stubbornness; in part due to the obnoxiousness "special"  middle child syndrome. But he's always meant well and it took me becoming a parent to truly grasp that. One of the many lessons he instilled in both me and my sisters was that....

Anything worthwhile doing, is worthwhile doing well.

And this mantra has taken me far. I haven't always made the best or the right decisions but I have learned to be a hard worker and have developed a strong work ethic that isn't based on the whims of my employer. Whatever I am doing I will give it my all.

My father has lived by this principal and as a result has been happily married for 40 years as well as recently retired after serving in the ministry for 40 years. He and my mother have retired to the Caribbean and are able to live comfortably because he worked hard; he saved hard....he lived his life in all aspects well.

I strive to emulate that. I won't apologize for my passion for the things that matter to me. I will continue to do the best in everything I do; I will pass on this lifestyle to my children and I will live it well.

Yes, it's hard to admit out loud but the truth is I have problems with my attitude.

For some, they demonstrate their attitudes with cruel words or loud arguments. For me, I go inward when I get my attitude. I retreat inwardly and I stew. This is not healthy. It is of vital importance that I speak about the things that bother me even if they may be uncomfortable. I remember my parents saying to me as a child and adolescent that I always had this attitude. Of course I thought that they were wrong and were simply trying to "control me!" Ha! I was even delusional enough to believe that many of my past issues in relationships had to do with "the other person." If he would just "act right" then I wouldn't have to stew silently, give the cold shoulder and respond to the question of what's wrong, with the classic response...nothing.

My immaturity to acknowledge that my attitude isn't always the most pleasant will leave me stunted in my emotional growth. No matter how much I may resist this truth it must be spoken out loud; it must be told in order to start the process of change. What a better mother I will be and an even better daughter, sister and wife! What will go with my attitude will be the arrogance that comes in thinking my emotional state is the only reality,the only way of processing the situation. But when I lose the attitude and with it the arrogance I am free to see the truth and the love in any situation.

Yes, my name is Egypt and I've had more attitudes than I care to admit. But today I start anew, one day at a time until this part of my personality dissolves....

Things I have found in the laundry...pens, gum,toy rodents or reptiles that scare me half to death, candy, money, erasers, rubber bands, toys, raisins, notes..and notebooks. I remind my son to empty his pockets before he places his clothes in the hamper and I try to remember to check those pockets before I begin the laundry. But more often than not once I start taking clothes out of the dryer I am met with all sorts of little surprises. This morning it was a FULL PACK of Big Red Gum! Hmm...even if I don't check for these things they will show up eventually. Like in life. The things we try and hide or subtly forget eventually show up. The parts of us that we want to hide will without question appear in our relationships.

It goes to show that instead of hiding we should start cleaning. The areas of our lives that need to be cleared before we transition we need to take out, examine and let go of. Sometimes the things in our pockets are things we need...like pens or important receipts...so we place them away carefully. But other times they are things that have no value..an old gum wrapper..a half eaten candy bar...we can discard of those things. The parts of our character that can continue to hinder us we need to let go of...and the parts of ourselves that add to our growth we take care of carefully. It's all going to show up eventually anyway. You might as well take care of it today.