Egypt
I am going to be the blended love mother of my love's two children one day. In the meantime I spend enough time with them to give me an honarary "step mother" title. And I'm not that evil one either. So in no particular order, here are ways to bond with the steps...
- Discover their favorite food and indulge them
- Discover their favorite dessert and indulge them.
- Take them roller skating.
- Take them bowling.
- Go hiking.
- Go shopping.
- Talk.
- Play Games.
- Try to say yes more than you say no.
- Say no when you need to.
- Smile at them.
- Hug them.
- Speak nicely about their mother.
- Write them little notes.
- Don't always tell..dad.
- Laugh at their jokes.
- Listen to their stories.
- Look at their dances.
- Give them time alone with their dad.
- Love them.
Egypt
So here's how the story goes. Boy meets girl. Girl and boy have a baby or two together. Boy and girl part ways. Boy meets another girl. Boy already has baby or two. Girl now has another baby or two to love.
And that's where it begins. That's where and how love becomes blended. It's like a really well made
concoction of fruits, nuts and berries...or coffee, caramel and whipped cream...a cornucopia of love! It is the combination of families..one child here, one daddy there..another mommy in the home. It's trying to find just the right combination of love, courage and patience for all involved. Children have to learn to love new adults who aren't their biological parents. Adults have to grow in love for children that aren't a part of their genetic makeup. It's blended. Love all blended together until the titles of "step" this and "half" that..are blurred out and what is left is a family.
...special thanks to my love's mother, ms. gwen, who shared the term "blended love" with him who in turn shared it with me.....
Egypt
Spring break with the kids.....yums and my bf's two...we call them the Sky team. Children make life fun. Despite the attitudes, the "how comes" and "where are we going" we had a dynamic day! Children help you remember that life is fun; life is innocent; we can still play at the park, eat icecream and do nothing but think of things to do next. And having children that aren't yours biologically helps one to remember to be sensitive and compassionate. Being with them helps me to remember that as much as I wonder if they will love me automatically, they wonder the same thing. Does "she" like me? Does "she like me just cause of my dad?" I realized today that I do like them. I do love them and I am grateful for them all.
Egypt
I love my boyfriend and in essence that means I ought to naturally love his children..right? So I thought. After all, as beautiful and wonderful as he is, how could his offspring not be just the same. And as a mother already wouldn't I organically cleave to the little one's he made? Well, automatically...no. I didn't produce them from my body so the instantaneous oxyctocin that was released when I gave birth to my son isn't there. I have to produce it manually. His kids are coming for spring break and I have to admit it's intimitadating and overwhelming all at the same time. I've been around them enough to have a relationship but since I don't see them often I tend to at times feel like that "wicked stepmother." Beautiful children they are..full of life and mischief and all the things that make children..fun! But at times I wonder, will I fall in love with them naturally as we progress in our relationship? Will my heart be as full and hold them the way it holds Yums? Will they ever look at me as a friend and confidant and another adult who loves them? Or will they glare at me scorningly since I'm not their mother? *sigh* I prepare for their arrival, get fun activities in place and hope for a special spring break.
