Sponge bob Square pants and his insane sidekick, Patrick, have been a regular cartoon show in my home for about six or seven years. Yums doesn't watch it as much now but when he was younger we'd both sit in front of the TV and giggle at Spongebob's antics. One episode in particular stood out for me. Sponge bob, as usual, had gotten into mischief and unintentionally destroyed Bikini Bottom. The town thought that a maniac was on the loose and immediately began an all out hunt for this maniac. Patrick, who was an eyewitness to the maniac, was asked to recall how this person looked to a sketch artist. Well of course when he described the person it was Sponge bob and quite naturally no one in the town could tell that the square image could only be Sponge bob! Eventually Patrick and Sponge bob went on the hunt for the maniac and in the most ridiculous manner eventually figured out who it was!

Ridiculous. Absolutely, I know. But what I took from this episode was how wonderful the word maniac was and also how insanely great it is to at times act like a maniac. 

Living life like a maniac for me means living life with relish, with gusto, with passion! It means going after your dream and not stopping until you have it in your hands. Being a maniac means taking risks; having an adventurous spirit. Not fully knowing where the next experience is coming from but waiting with open arms for it. A maniac isn't afraid to live and take chances. Now of course I don't mean acting on impulses that are dangerous, morally degrading or life threatening. I do mean acting on the passion in life that says even when you can't see your way....there is one.

Sometimes we have to stop and remember to live. Not just exist. But really live.....

My father and I haven't always had the best relationship. I've challenged almost everything he's ever told me, in part because of my stubbornness; in part due to the obnoxiousness "special"  middle child syndrome. But he's always meant well and it took me becoming a parent to truly grasp that. One of the many lessons he instilled in both me and my sisters was that....

Anything worthwhile doing, is worthwhile doing well.

And this mantra has taken me far. I haven't always made the best or the right decisions but I have learned to be a hard worker and have developed a strong work ethic that isn't based on the whims of my employer. Whatever I am doing I will give it my all.

My father has lived by this principal and as a result has been happily married for 40 years as well as recently retired after serving in the ministry for 40 years. He and my mother have retired to the Caribbean and are able to live comfortably because he worked hard; he saved hard....he lived his life in all aspects well.

I strive to emulate that. I won't apologize for my passion for the things that matter to me. I will continue to do the best in everything I do; I will pass on this lifestyle to my children and I will live it well.

What we put into our bodies manifests outwardly. When I am consuming too much of the so good but so toxic foods (coffee, alcohol, processed foods) I feel it in my bones. I notice that I am so lethargic and cranky. I feel just a little under the weather and would describe my health as fair at best. But when I am being the organic, lavender and butterfly girl that I am and consume healthy foods that are alive I feel...well..alive! My energy is reminiscent of college days, my skin is clearer, the bags are gone from under my eyes and I am able to accomplish so much! So what I realize is that what I put in will come out one way or the other.
So what I put in my mind/in my head will come out in my behavior, huh? What I think about the most... What I believe to be true will manifest in the decisions that I make, the company I keep, the behavior that I show. If I have toxic thoughts on a regular basis I will view the world that way. If I know that I know in my thoughts that people are unable to be faithful I will see that in all of my relationships. I didn't say some..I said ALL! If I don't believe that I can have better or do better I never will.
So I have to be careful of what I put both in my body/my temple and my head.....

Things I have found in the laundry...pens, gum,toy rodents or reptiles that scare me half to death, candy, money, erasers, rubber bands, toys, raisins, notes..and notebooks. I remind my son to empty his pockets before he places his clothes in the hamper and I try to remember to check those pockets before I begin the laundry. But more often than not once I start taking clothes out of the dryer I am met with all sorts of little surprises. This morning it was a FULL PACK of Big Red Gum! Hmm...even if I don't check for these things they will show up eventually. Like in life. The things we try and hide or subtly forget eventually show up. The parts of us that we want to hide will without question appear in our relationships.

It goes to show that instead of hiding we should start cleaning. The areas of our lives that need to be cleared before we transition we need to take out, examine and let go of. Sometimes the things in our pockets are things we need...like pens or important receipts...so we place them away carefully. But other times they are things that have no value..an old gum wrapper..a half eaten candy bar...we can discard of those things. The parts of our character that can continue to hinder us we need to let go of...and the parts of ourselves that add to our growth we take care of carefully. It's all going to show up eventually anyway. You might as well take care of it today.

Jump! If you're learning to swim just jump in the water. Preferably if you have a life jacket or life guard within yelling distance. But jump. Overcome that fear and jump into that water. You'll get it...right? Wrong? If I jump in and don't know how to swim will I sink soundlessly to the bottom? Will I drown? Will nature kick in and I'll somehow figure out how not to drown silently or while kicking fiercely? Jump! And find out. But how about ensuring that there is some sort of safety apparatus in place first? Look around and observe if there is a life guard...jump with a trusted companion in the water waiting for you. Jump with a life vest on or be sure there's a life saver handy. In life we have to all JUMP eventually. Jump into that position that you know you can do but are fearful of the responsibilities...Jump into the relationship that you have been praying for and that has appeared. Jump into marriage..with the right person. Jump off the diving board and into the sparkling water when all you want to do is stay firmly planted on the ground. It's scary but it can be done. The safety of jumping is the preparation. You have prepared yourself for that job. You have prepared for this relationship. You have the tools necessary to move. Jumping takes action. It forces us to move. Otherwise we can stagnate and allow fear to rot us in one spot. Use the emotion as a catalyst to be in the space that you desire. Now, ready, set.....JUMP!

Imagine if we could do that. Shed the layer of who we are and take on the skin/covering of someone else. This could be their physical appearance or their emotional attributes. But would we be able to change "our skin" like we do our desktop wall papers or backgrounds or cell covers? If I could change my skin..would I? Who would I be? What would I want to look like? And in so doing would it mean that I didn't care for "the skin I'm in?" Would there be others who would want to change their skin for mine...for my appearance..for my personality? I love the skin that I'm in. Sometimes I don't like it..but I do love it. I am who I am. I am comfortable being more of an introvert than a social butterfly. I am well pleased with my lithe size instead of voluptuous curves. I am happy being silly and goofy and thinking butterflies are the most exquisite things God ever made. My skin allows me to take chances in love and think about the consequences....sometimes after and not before. My skin I'm in creates an environment for people to be themselves and feel safe. My skin covers a lady..and that is what I am. My skin...my outer layer and my inner softness allows me to be me without fear.

I gave birth to Yums at home. It was an incredible experience. I was surrounded by a beautiful environment and was able to participate freely in my birthing process. As wonderful as it was there was pain....a lot of it! I used herbal tea as my pain killers. The pain was the pull my hair out, use a profound amount of profanity and call upon God to deliver me type of pain. At one point I felt as if I were being torn apart; shortly after that I felt this great expulsion and then blissful relief. Right after that moment I said...ok, I can do this again! I gave birth to my son through a lot of pain and discomfort but it was completely worth it. I thought about this with our life experiences. There are times that we are in the midst of giving birth to something great....confidence, a new beginning, security...but it's too painful. We are unable to get through the birthing process because it doesn't feel good. We don't want to deal with the discomfort, the anxiety, the gut wrenching hurt in order to make it to the other side. And the amazing thing is that what we will birth will be beyond description. It will be inexplicably beautiful. We will understand that we had to experience the debilitating pain to bring forth new life. We are able to do it naturally. We don't need prescription drugs or alcohol or some other distraction to make it through the process. We need to remember that no matter how much it hurts in the moment, when the pain is over there will be a new life.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.Robert Frost

It goes on. Life that is. Even in the darkest moments when everything seems to be going wrong life is in motion. Flowers are still blooming, grass is growing, babies are being born, and decisions are being made. When the pain of one experience is ending the soothing truth is that your life will continue.

I am in love with life.
Here are some things that produce squeals of delight..in no particular order..

1. Key Lime Pie (so very good)
2. Picnics
3. Sun dresses
4. Sunday evenings
5. Good music
6. Red velvet cupcakes (decadent)
7. Forgiveness
8. Yums big smile
9. Yums big hugs
10. Yums forever kisses
11. Yums telling me I look pretty
12. Chocolate babies
13. My loves touch (HIM)
14. My father's eyes
15. My mother's smile
16. My sister's laugh (laughs so hard she gets an asthma attack)
17. My sister's dimples
18. Yellow nail polish
19. Really highWedges
20. The SUN!
21. Everything about the beach
22. Bikinis
23. Orange, Red and all Earth Colors
24. The color White
25. Experiences
26. Weddings
27. Butterflies
28. Committment
29. Character
30. My so very beautiful girlfriends
31. "Do Over's"
32. A Good Book and a Rainy Day
33. My Love (HIM *sigh* so in love)
34. My sister's crazy home
35. My brother's oh so New York style!
36. Mascara
37. Opportunities
38. Writing
39. Really hot places
40. Really cold places
41. Traveling to these places
42. Days off
43. Sunflowers
44. Lavender
45. Coffee (*sigh* my addiction)
46. Starbucks
47. My BFF's smell (the same since we were 16)
48. Wine
49. Learning new things
50. Chess
51. Character.

That's it for now...but I really am grateful for life....
Thank you Creator for it....

The saying is that when opportunity knocks..answer. There are times we regret experiences because we feel we allowed an opportunity to pass by. My love experience with life shows me that even when one opportunity is lost another one will always present itself. Life is not stagnant. As long as we are able to breathe we will always have the chance to say something, do something, create something or be something that we want. Now, when we belabor experiences our "next opportunities" will probably present themselves differently but the fact is they will be there. Never give up on yourself. Never beat yourself up for allowing something/someone to pass by. Use that same energy to possess the opportunity that you desire and make the most of it.

The quote of the Day is magnificent!

"History never looks like history when you are living through it."John W. Gardner

Isn't that the truth? When we are in the moment we tend to forget that we have lived through the experience before. And if we haven't, someone has. So in the moment we feel as though noone has ever experienced our pain, our heartache, noone has ever had to live through what we are feeling. Noone could possibly understand how we feel. But the beauty of the experience is that you will live through it to see another day and have another experience. It will be your history and in turn you will have the tools necessary to help someone else make theirs....