Why do we try and hide it so much? Why are we embarrassed by our sensitivity as though it were a curse? We all try to be so tough and wear a mask...our pretend selves. People who are sensitive are described as weird or weak or soft or..something. Something that's not good. But our sensitivity is a sign of our purity. It's the side of ourselves that we can't hide. The side that feels raw energy and interprets without boundaries. It's who we are when no one is watching; no one can hear and no one can touch us. It's who we are at our natural selves. I am so sensitive and I'm not ashamed to say it.

This incredible journey called life has so many peaks and valleys..so many uncharted areas to explore...so many novel things to learn. There is just so much to experience. Often times when we are in a relationship we may have our own interests and our mate has theirs. That's ok because it allows each of you to continue to bring interesting ideas into your love bubble. But sometimes the interests and ideas are so opposite that it's difficult to meet in the middle and do things together. You enjoy going out on a weekly basis..he prefers chilling in his boxer shorts at home. You love going to museums and plays..he'd prefer mud wrestling and a good hip hop concert. Again, there's nothing wrong with that. It adds spice! But one thing that is really joyous is when you can explore new things with your mate. You may despise the rodeo with a vengeance but your mate adores it..hold his hand and enjoy the show together. Engaging in new things together creates such an incredible bond! When you know that you share in a new experience with your love...share in the joys of this life together with your love..you know that you are safe. It is safe to want to learn new things..to grow in different areas...to want to try things. You know that your mate has your back and is willing to do them with you and this cements your bond. It's so easy to do too and the change that is expected in life can occur organically..with both of you looking in the same direction.

I am often thinking of confidence...what makes a woman confident? What separates women who are confident from women who are not? What are some signs that a woman is confident?

1. Belief in yourself - accepting your uniqueness
2. Courage to stand up for what you believe
3. Discipline to say No
4. Continued growth
5. Ability to embrace life fully
6. Understanding there is a power greater than you
7. Ability to apologize

What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate. ~Henry David Thoreau

Just as much as we see in others we have in ourselves. ~William Hazlitt

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I gave birth to Yums at home. It was an incredible experience. I was surrounded by a beautiful environment and was able to participate freely in my birthing process. As wonderful as it was there was pain....a lot of it! I used herbal tea as my pain killers. The pain was the pull my hair out, use a profound amount of profanity and call upon God to deliver me type of pain. At one point I felt as if I were being torn apart; shortly after that I felt this great expulsion and then blissful relief. Right after that moment I said...ok, I can do this again! I gave birth to my son through a lot of pain and discomfort but it was completely worth it. I thought about this with our life experiences. There are times that we are in the midst of giving birth to something great....confidence, a new beginning, security...but it's too painful. We are unable to get through the birthing process because it doesn't feel good. We don't want to deal with the discomfort, the anxiety, the gut wrenching hurt in order to make it to the other side. And the amazing thing is that what we will birth will be beyond description. It will be inexplicably beautiful. We will understand that we had to experience the debilitating pain to bring forth new life. We are able to do it naturally. We don't need prescription drugs or alcohol or some other distraction to make it through the process. We need to remember that no matter how much it hurts in the moment, when the pain is over there will be a new life.

Here I am
Naked and open before you....
Barefoot
Loving
Eager
Here I am
Hopeful
Scared
Ready
Here I am
in the midst of
taking the next step....

You know that feeling that you get right before you get or accomplish what you've been dying for! It's like a rush! But there's also anxiety associated with that feeling. You may have just paid off you're debt and have accomplished the goal of being DEBT FREE but then what do you do? Purchase a new vehicle or buy a new home or charge that "fierce" new dress. You've met the man of your dreams and he is beautiful! Certainly something must be wrong. He opens the door for you and calls to check on you; he cares about your needs and thinks you have the prettiest feet imaginable. Of course he must be gay, right? So instead of embracing what you have wanted you start to imagine that he's lying about something or at any moment the other shoe will fall. What that does is create drama. Now you start to have an attitude because in your mind he's cheating. Or you start to take on your lead role in CSI and snoop through receipts, his phone..his email. Something must be up and you're going to find it! In the end, you create in your reality what you thought of in the recesses of your mind. You sabotage what you desire so much because in reality you may not feel that you deserve it. What we believe about ourselves, in our core, manifests in how we behave in our relationships or in how we go after what we want. If we really don't believe in ourselves we won't believe we deserve to be happy or to have all that our hearts desire. Remember the way you sabotage something can manifest in different ways...your thoughts, your actions, your behavior, your moods. Start with your internal clean up. Discard those negative and ugly beliefs you hold true about yourself. EMBRACE what is for you and what has been blessed upon you and know in your spirit that you deserve it.