Sometimes when we say we love someone or that we're in love we are thinking of ourselves. We are enjoying just how well that person makes us feel and what they do for us. We talk about what they do for us to make us feel so good. We forget that love is not selfish. Love will require you to do things that you don't feel like doing. Love will not always be about what that person can do for you. It's about how YOU show it. It's an action and it causes you to be IN action. It's about doing things you may not feel like doing at the time. You may have to wake up early to pick up aspirin for your Love's aching head. Or you may have to do a load of laundry in the middle of the night when you'd rather be fast asleep. Love may require you to entertain when all you want to do is rest. Love is about giving and receiving; it's a healthy balance between the two. But if you're honest with yourself, how often are you giving? How often are your hands open to receive? It's not just about the material exchange. Love is about the emotional and physical exchange; the sacrificial exchange...We want our mates to give selflessly...their time, their feelings, their honesty, their affection, their love..and we want it in our time. But when our mates..our loves...need to receive the same time or affection or honesty or discipline we say..."that's just how I am" and so we aren't able to give back or reflect what we want. Love requires discipline. The discipline to give of yourself when you don't want to. And if you want to receive this type of holistic love from your mate it is imperative that you start by showing/doing it yourself.

Are you woman enough to admit what your strongholds are? Am I woman enough to admit this to myself or someone else? Our strongholds are the emotional ties that we allow to control us..our thoughts and in turn our behavior. They are the barriers we believe we can't get rid of or overcome. The bad habits that we give power to because of how powerless we feel. They are the thoughts that we succumb to on an almost religious level. The images in our head that we feverishly hold onto. The desires that burn within. Strongholds can be broken. There are no fortresses that are impregnable..unless we choose them to be. When we acknowledge that something or someone has a stronghold over us we admit that this is an area that demands attention. We begin the process with that statement.....______ has a stronghold over me. Now what do you do with that. You either feed it with your feelings of helplessness or destroy it with your will power and determination. Think about it. Emotions such as helplessness are easy and passive traits. We experience them without even thinking. But to be strong and develop will power demands work. We have to work at that muscle. Work at that belief that you can overcome any thought and in turn any behavior. Strong holds are there to polish your character and show you just who you are. Welcome them like you would any challenge and then celebrate in your victory when you overcome.

So beautiful and so smooth. Skin like rare chocolate. Makes you want to reach out and just touch it to see if it's real. And wisdom that is unnatural. A gift from her ancestors, maybe? A woman whose energy is raw and pure. A woman who loves her children and sees their goodness but also their humaness and corrects them when they are wrong. A woman who will tell it like it is. This is a woman who is so unlike me yet I find her comforting. Ms.Gwen, my love's mother...a woman who looks like me who i find beautiful.

when i think of my little brown boy
i automatically grin.
this little male child
whose hands are shaped like mine
and bone structure resembles me.
who asks why
and still spontaneously gives me
great hugs and kisses.
this little brown boy
whose eyes well with tears
at times.
whose laugh makes me melt
all the time.
whose smile makes me day
every time.
my yums....
my son.....
my love....

Women Who Look Like Me I find stunningly beautiful. Is that an arrogant statement? A tribute to my narcissistic self? Women Who Look Like Me are like the first rays of light on a new day. Like that glass of cold water when you're parched. Women Who Look Like Me are like really well written poetry that you read over and over because you keep trying to understand it. Like a bouquet of unexpected wild flowers. Women Who Look Like Me are vulnerable and wide and open and not scared to speak up for themselves and say No and mean it and Yes with the softest whisper. I know Women Who Look Like Me and it's vanity when I see them because they are such interesting and amazing reflections. I look and I stare and I smile and I wonder...do you know that your'e a Woman Who Looks Like Me?

Imagine if we could do that. Shed the layer of who we are and take on the skin/covering of someone else. This could be their physical appearance or their emotional attributes. But would we be able to change "our skin" like we do our desktop wall papers or backgrounds or cell covers? If I could change my skin..would I? Who would I be? What would I want to look like? And in so doing would it mean that I didn't care for "the skin I'm in?" Would there be others who would want to change their skin for mine...for my appearance..for my personality? I love the skin that I'm in. Sometimes I don't like it..but I do love it. I am who I am. I am comfortable being more of an introvert than a social butterfly. I am well pleased with my lithe size instead of voluptuous curves. I am happy being silly and goofy and thinking butterflies are the most exquisite things God ever made. My skin allows me to take chances in love and think about the consequences....sometimes after and not before. My skin I'm in creates an environment for people to be themselves and feel safe. My skin covers a lady..and that is what I am. My skin...my outer layer and my inner softness allows me to be me without fear.

”The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments ofcomfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge andcontroversy.”Martin Luther King Jr.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”Alexander Graham Bell

”Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”George Bernard Shaw

"Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what theworld needs is people who have come alive."Howard Thurman