What we put into our bodies manifests outwardly. When I am consuming too much of the so good but so toxic foods (coffee, alcohol, processed foods) I feel it in my bones. I notice that I am so lethargic and cranky. I feel just a little under the weather and would describe my health as fair at best. But when I am being the organic, lavender and butterfly girl that I am and consume healthy foods that are alive I feel...well..alive! My energy is reminiscent of college days, my skin is clearer, the bags are gone from under my eyes and I am able to accomplish so much! So what I realize is that what I put in will come out one way or the other.
So what I put in my mind/in my head will come out in my behavior, huh? What I think about the most... What I believe to be true will manifest in the decisions that I make, the company I keep, the behavior that I show. If I have toxic thoughts on a regular basis I will view the world that way. If I know that I know in my thoughts that people are unable to be faithful I will see that in all of my relationships. I didn't say some..I said ALL! If I don't believe that I can have better or do better I never will.
So I have to be careful of what I put both in my body/my temple and my head.....

I love looking at older couples. You know the type. There shoulders are slightly slouched. They are holding wrinkled hands and walking slowly together. They look like commitment. But I always wonder what they still talk about after 20, 30, 40...50 years together. I'm sure they complete each other's sentences and can likely guess what the other is thinking. I wonder if they maintained a sense of self during their relationship? Did they continue to read and learn or participate in life and in that way stay interesting and intriguing to their mates? Sometimes we become so enmeshed with our partners that we lose a sense of who we are or we forget to do things that are not only interesting to us but will keep us interesting to our spouses. I believe in doing so you will continue to have things to talk about. You will still have fascinating stories to share and little jokes between the two of you. Keep dancing or singing or baking or running or starting your own publishing company or coffee shop or...whatever it is. You'll always have a story to share with the one you love.

Sometimes I get on my "checking people out" craze where I stare at the left hand of men and women to see if they are wearing a wedding ring. I do this because I'm slightly obsessed with marriage..the idea of marriage...and the forever inquiry into the status of one's marriage. I immediately start to wonder if they're happy and/or how long they've been married. Are they cheating? What made them decide to take the plunge? Then I look at the size of the diamonds on women's rings and my mind goes into a tailspin. Does the size of the diamond reflect how much love is in the relationship? 1 carat = i kinda love you. i do.....2 carats = i love you a lot. 3 carats and more = i am sooooo in love with you..? is that accurate? so if you don't have diamonds does it mean you're not that into the relationship..or not that ready for marriage? if you had a choice would you choose a larger diamond and fair marriage or smaller diamond and larger than life marriage or do you have to choose? The size of the diamond isn't going to reflect the committment in the relationship, the communication that is developed, the loyalty or the friendship. If we believe that a larger ring will measure the success of the relationship then you've already started out with surface expectations. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't have a large diamond..if that's what you want and what your mate can afford. But do understand that if you and your mate work as hard or more on developing the skills to make a successful marriage as you do on acquiring the "bling bling" you won't have to choose between the two.....

Things I have found in the laundry...pens, gum,toy rodents or reptiles that scare me half to death, candy, money, erasers, rubber bands, toys, raisins, notes..and notebooks. I remind my son to empty his pockets before he places his clothes in the hamper and I try to remember to check those pockets before I begin the laundry. But more often than not once I start taking clothes out of the dryer I am met with all sorts of little surprises. This morning it was a FULL PACK of Big Red Gum! Hmm...even if I don't check for these things they will show up eventually. Like in life. The things we try and hide or subtly forget eventually show up. The parts of us that we want to hide will without question appear in our relationships.

It goes to show that instead of hiding we should start cleaning. The areas of our lives that need to be cleared before we transition we need to take out, examine and let go of. Sometimes the things in our pockets are things we need...like pens or important receipts...so we place them away carefully. But other times they are things that have no value..an old gum wrapper..a half eaten candy bar...we can discard of those things. The parts of our character that can continue to hinder us we need to let go of...and the parts of ourselves that add to our growth we take care of carefully. It's all going to show up eventually anyway. You might as well take care of it today.

That I love my mate. I love HIM.

Why is it so difficult to make the necessary steps for growth? Why is it so hard? Why can't we remain in the same spot, doing the same things...that is so comfortable. That is warm and familiar. Change is allowing yourself as well as others to be uncomfortable. It's making that decision to experience discomfort. I'd rather continue to pretend to be someone I'm not for the sake of my family so when they're around I'll wear my "family mask" while grinning and bearing it. What's so scary about being yourself? What's so wrong with saying, I'm not going to do it this way any longer. Yes, it may offend others. I may seem rebellious or something but I HAVE TO DO THIS. I have to do something differently. It's a mandatory part of life. If you don't experience change you experience a life that is rotting. A smelly existence. You're stagnating in one spot. Change is not an easy process. It's not an over night experience. It will take time. Not all the time in the world...for time is not promised. So YOU HAVE to make up your mind to act on your change. Do it. Don't procrastinate until you're in a comfortable position...starting today. Not tomorrow. Today..begin the process of change.