Yes, it's hard to admit out loud but the truth is I have problems with my attitude.

For some, they demonstrate their attitudes with cruel words or loud arguments. For me, I go inward when I get my attitude. I retreat inwardly and I stew. This is not healthy. It is of vital importance that I speak about the things that bother me even if they may be uncomfortable. I remember my parents saying to me as a child and adolescent that I always had this attitude. Of course I thought that they were wrong and were simply trying to "control me!" Ha! I was even delusional enough to believe that many of my past issues in relationships had to do with "the other person." If he would just "act right" then I wouldn't have to stew silently, give the cold shoulder and respond to the question of what's wrong, with the classic response...nothing.

My immaturity to acknowledge that my attitude isn't always the most pleasant will leave me stunted in my emotional growth. No matter how much I may resist this truth it must be spoken out loud; it must be told in order to start the process of change. What a better mother I will be and an even better daughter, sister and wife! What will go with my attitude will be the arrogance that comes in thinking my emotional state is the only reality,the only way of processing the situation. But when I lose the attitude and with it the arrogance I am free to see the truth and the love in any situation.

Yes, my name is Egypt and I've had more attitudes than I care to admit. But today I start anew, one day at a time until this part of my personality dissolves....

A Fun Day at Piedmont Park

The best kids in the world!

Safi our 14 year old teenager with a sarcastic sense of humor...(left)
Kemet our 10 year old outgoing and precocious daughter...(far right)
Yahoshua our 11 year old relentless negotiator...(middle)

Our SKY team...our reasons for striving to be the best versions of ourselves possible!

Contradictions

I’m a blind man that sees
I’m an atheist that believes
I’m a temperature that can freeze over 90 degrees

I’m a lie that tells truth
I’m evidence with no proof

I’m a woman that keeps quiet
I’m a peace rally that starts riots

I’m a public speaker that’s a mute
I’m an anti-gun activist that still shoots
I snipe people from the roof
And date a celibate prostitute

I’m a walking paraplegic
I’m a healthy obese bulimic

I’m an over weight gymnast
I’m a misogynistic feminist

I live my life forward
Like Revelations to Genesis

I’m an anti-social extrovert
I’m a nun in a mini skirt
I’m homeless and over worked

I’m high when I’m low
I speed up to go slow
I never keep promises
But I promise to let you know

I’m a midget that’s 6 feet
I’m a healthy heart that doesn’t beat
I’m forgotten history that didn’t repeat
I’m a narcoleptic that can’t sleep

I’m politician that’s truthful
I’m a president that useful

I’m an asthmatic that’s long winded
I’m stingy but quick to lend it
I’m hyper-sensitive so speak your mind and I won’t get offended

I’m aggressively passive
I’m the government that speaks truth to the masses
I’m a relationship that’s built on lies and deceit that lasts

I continue to feed negative thoughts so they can get weaker
I put lemons in water to make it sweeter
I’m a practical family man so I bought a two seater

I rap and expect it not to influence people
I glorify money in videos and tell kids it’s the root of all evil

I give you advice that I don’t follow
Then turn around and tell you pride is something you should swallow
I keep giving money to my alcoholic uncle to persuade him to get off the bottle

I want people to give me what I’m not willing to give in return
I continue to make the same mistakes but I look at you shaking my head because you're a person that never learns

I’m a Christian who gives Satan too much credit
I’m highly favored in the lord but my life style is pathetic

I’m a religion that believes only those in my faith will be saved
I pastor a church but can’t teach my kids how to behave

I see the good in all people but I faithful doubt their trust
I’m consistently inconsistent

I’m the contradiction in all of us….

Hotep Nuri©

Life has it's ups and downs. I try to focus on the positive aspects of experiences but sometimes things get overwhelming. I have a lot of fun at home with my husband and son and try to share those moments on this blog. The reality is that it's not always going to be fun and maybe a tear will be shed and feelings can get hurt.

Being a blended family means commitment to making things....blend. My son and I have been alone for years before my husband became an integral part of our life. The norm has been my discipline style, my expectations and my routine with my son, Yums. But getting married, and even before we got married, my husband took the responsibility of treating Yums as  his own. While this is fantastic it also comes with the responsibility of discipline and boundaries and being firm when necessary. Sometimes Yums doesn't mind this and at other times it's a battle.

This comes with being a family though. It's a part of the blending process. Things aren't going to go smoothly all of the time but if we continue to work on combining/blending our family, eventually we'll get the lumps and the bumps mostly out. As with anything that is put in a blender it takes a few different speeds and the addition of different ingredients to create the perfect concoction..whether that is a smoothie or a cold slushy drink. With us it will take a few experiences, different trials, some tears along the way and the most important ingredient....love to blend to our perfection.

Everyday offers a new opportunity to try again.

• i was born in st.croix which is in the united states virgin islands
• i've attended private schools [all seventh day adventist] from 1st grade through my 4 years of college.
• the first time i kissed a boy i was 17!
• and then didn't kiss another boy until i was 18 [i was a dork!]
• my middle name is elizabeth.
• when i was an infant i stayed with my grandmother in antigua because i was so sick.
• i got hit by a car at age 6 or 7 while walking home from the pool with my sisters.
• my son was born at home; he was delivered by his grandmother.
• i still don't know how to swim despite growing up on an island.
• i'm terrified of lizards....despite growing up on an island.
• my bestie and i used to drink zimas and smoke cigarettes in parking lots when we were in college.
• when i was little i wanted to be a fireman when i grew up.
• i'm the middle of three girls.
• i have the best parents in the world [but somehow didn't realize this until my late 20's]
• my parents have been married for 40 years and my mom still calls my dad "sweetheart"
• my dad told me when i was two he knew i'd be a hellraiser.
• i've been to egypt and israel but was too immature to appreciate the trip.
• when i'm tipsy i giggle and talk too much.
• i can.not.dance.to.save.my.life. [but in my head i'm the greatest choreographer ever].
• i love deeply.
• overly opionated people are annoying
• if i could, i'd use the word "douche" in every sentence.
• i cry very easily.
• my husband says i'm the most sensitive person he knows.
• i love corny shows...like "The Office", "Always Sunny in Philadelphia", "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "Eastbound and Down"
• i'd rather buy a dress than pay a bill......[but i don't!]
• i have the best mother in law in the world! she rocks!!!!!!
• i am dying to visit seattle.
• my ideal job would be in interior decorating.
• i hope i'm married to my husband until we're both in depends and dentures
• i plan to be sexy at 75.
• i have three tatoos [i want two one more]
• i have three children.
• i'd like love to have one more.
• i've been vegetarian since age 19.
• i'm only vegetarian because i have a very vivid imagination.
• i haven't had a perm since age 19.
• i still don't know what to do with my natural hair.
• my mother is a published author of two books.
• my older sister is a doctor.
• my dad is also a doctor.
• my younger sister is getting her doctoral degree.
• if i could i would sell sea shells at the sea shore in st.croix.

After a long day... An overwhelmingly long and draining day one must find refuge. And at times my refuge is in a glass or three  of Moscato or Riesling or my favorite, Seven Daughters. And if it weren't for my glass or bottle of said wine I may completely nut up and find comfort in the wonderful arms of  genuine psychosis! There are days like that and today very well may have been one of those days!

But as always and in everything I give thanks.Without my job that drives me insane I'd be a bag lady at your local supermarket or an exotic entertainer at a nearby Senior Citizens Center. So I'm grateful that I can work in the comfort of my home for my 8 hour shift. I can see my son off to school in the morning and be here when he gets off of the bus in the afternoon. If I didn't have my 11 year who knows absolutely everything, is never wrong about anything and at times has the negotiation skills of Johnny Cochran, I wouldn't be a mother. And for me being a mother has been the best thing that has happened. Period. So I embrace his early puberty with thankfulness and pray for the patience to endure all that his adolescence may have for me!

I am grateful. I am blessed to have my home, a warm bed to snuggle in at night; plenty of food to eat and a family that I'd do anything for and who would do anything for me. As always, God is good.

All in all, Life is Good....and all the more better with some  moscato!