Shopping.....hmmm...the lascivious act of spending money. It can invoke joy if you're careful with it. Shop for anything. Shop for yourself. Shop for your mother. Shop for your niece. Pick up that book you've been dying to read. Buy a frilly piece of lingerie. Buy a scoop of coffee flavored icecream with caramel on top. Shop for a new type of wine. Shop for those one of a kind earrings. Buy your pet a new toy. Buy strawberry flavored lubricant. Buy grapes, apples, watermelon, blackberries, blueberries and kiwi. Shop for the biggest brightest sunflowers. Aren't you feeling joyful just imagining what you can buy?

I tripped. Being the clumsy butterfly that I am I stumbled and tripped and...fell..in love? Is that how it happens? Is it by accident or per chance that we fall in love? I have the suspicion and maybe not so popular opinion that it's by choice. The energy and chemistry that we feel and share with someone is not by choice. It is an organic experience. But as we get to learn and know someone we start to develop more intense feelings and we begin to feel...feel the beginnings of something. I believe there is a crossroad before we fall with reckless abandon into love and where we hold back, just a bit, for reasons of our own. We can see warning signs with someone and decide to ignore them; open our heart, our mind, our spirit to them and completely fall flat on our face in love with them. Then there are times that the warning signs may not be glaring but we save a piece of ourselves because of past hurts and wounds that are still healing. We all will fall in love one day. For many women there have been numerous experiences of falling in love. But as we grow wiser maybe we should be a bit more cautious about who we lay spirit naked before and surrender our emotions to completely. Let our wisdom be a guide in our choice to be in love. And when we do make that choice it's like free falling ...but we know when we land there will be safety and not fear of crashing.

Although this blog site is dedicated to the magnificence of women I do have to acknowledge the beauty that lies in our male reflections. I was sitting here thinking of the "swag" that men possess. The way they walk into a room as if they own it. The width of their shoulders that make you believe in super heros. The take charge attitudes that help us feel safe. Men are lovely and here are a few, in no particular order, that take my breath away........

My love and reflection, Hotep. My dad, Pastor Michael. My brother, Paul. OBAMA! The honorable Minister Louis Farakkhan. Malcom X. Martin Luther King Jr. My boo, Brent. Bob Marley (yum). "Howard Roark" from Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. My grandfather I never met, James Walwyn. The men my son's are going to grow up to be, Yums and Safi. My crazy behind cousin, Maleeke. Poet, Langston Hughes. The King of Pop, Michael Jackson. #24, Kobe Bryant. MVP, Labron James. St.Croix's finest, Tim Duncan. Denzel Washington. Al Pacino.Spike Lee.Mos Def.Will Smith. Amazing father, Chris Gardner. Nelson Mandela. Cornel West. Tavis Smiley. Michael Eric Dyson.

Can you think of a few...let them know how beautiful they are today....

A fire is kept going by stoking it; by adding elements that will allow it to keep going. A spark gets the fire going and then wood may be added to keep that spark. In relationships it's just as vital to feed the fire. In the beginning there are sparks that look like school girl smiles and vibrant energy and you can't get enough of each other. Eventually the spark fades and instead of keeping the fire glowing and full we may start to ignite sparks in other places. The key is to learn what will keep your relationship fire glowing. Is it good conversation, acknowledgement; is it cards on random Tuesdays or respect of each other's differences. What does your relationship need to stoke that fire? Have you asked each other that question or do you assume chocolates and roses will do the trick? In long term healthy commitments this is something that we must strive to discover. Life will present regularity and routine in your relationship but it is simple to stoke your fire and keep it lit. Just take the time to learn how....