Guest post by my husband, Hotep.

Forgiveness

Never underestimate the power of forgiveness. When you forgive someone for what they have done it's allows healing and peace of mind to set in. In truth you are the one who primarily benefits from forgiving someone. A unforgiving spirit complicates life and stagnates our emotional and spiritual progression. It clouds our reasoning and stops our blessings. It unknowingly smothers truth and infects others causing them to pay for damages that they didn't create. We are held captive to a spirit that we do not have to own. We become prisoner's of our past and victim's of our present. Mark 11:25 and Luke 6:36 are examples in the bible that deals with the dangers of unforgiveness. Resentment, fear, misunderstanding,and confusion are all enemy's of the heart. In order to grow, we have to let go. Forgiving someone does not justify their deeds. It starts the healing process so we can take back control of our lives. I know it is easier said then done. This is why we need the Creator in the center of lives to show us how to properly forgive. In the Quran it states the Allah is the best of planners. (Sura 3:54). Who knows us better than the one who created us? There is nothing more powerful than a made up mind. (Sura 13:11) Ase!

Hotep Nuri

I truly believe that our thoughts are the catalyst for our reality. What we think, we become and what is real in our heads will manifest in our lives. As a newlywed I am learning the importance of caring for my thoughts and being mindful of the affect it can have on my marriage. I realized if I stopped in the moment of my thought, especially if it were a negative one, and asked myself the following questions then I could avert some funky situations. Here are the questions I ask myself:

What is my spouse’s intention?

Is this a worse case scenario thought?

What are some other possibilities?

If you were in this position how would you handle it?

Does this need to be discussed? Does a boundary need to be established?

What is your intention?

Will you React in Fear or Respond in Love?

And then I remind myself that the journey is not in the destination but in all of the beautiful meandering paths it takes to get there. Enjoy it…..

I have a few ideas floating around for my blog this year. To begin I'd like to commit to blogging on a daily basis. In the beginning, as with most things I found this easy to do but then stopped. I want to make a committment to blog at least one thing each day....I'm also thinking of having some guest posts on a weekly basis and incorporating more pictures. I'm really bad about taking pictures of myself, much less posting them but I'd like to start that this year. I've thought of changing the name of this blog but that's still up in the air [my Gemini indecisive tendencies!] I'm a bit late in the new year to make these resolutions but I'd like to challenge myself....here we go.....

Since I've been missing in action I've spent tons of time persuing blogs on everything from love and family to fashion. Since I've been working from home full time for the past 2 years my style has been incredibly low key and "dowdy." I haven't had many opportunities to get glammed up and shine and looking at the creativity of many fashion bloggers has been the highlight of many a "sweat pants day!" In that time I've gotten acquainted and lusted over the following stores and blogs...

• Anthropologie! This is by far my most expensive obsession. I spend hours perusing the soft dresses and sweaters. I stalk the sales. I am over the top in love with their selections!
• Forever 21. Really? Inexpensive clothes and jewelry? I couldn't ask for more..seriously.
• Modcloth. Again, another complete lust! The clothing is vintage, well priced and oh so unique.
• Natural hair blogs. Now although I've been natural for over 17 years or so and loc'd for almost that long it seems I'm really just learning about natural hair. The blogs out there are amazing and the products are inspiring.

I'm sure there are other things that are on my crush list but the above top my list currently. My pocket book has been a bit lighter over the past year and my husband has threatened to call "Intervention" on me but it has been fun exploring and shopping!

My then boyfriend and I had been talking about taking a quick trip away. He told me he wanted to take me Huntsville Alabama. He insisted that a few of his friends wanted to hang out with us so I agreed to go. Also, we met at college in Alabama so it was fun to go back to our first meeting place. The morning that we left to go I have to admit I wasn't in the mood to travel. I felt tired; a little moody and irritable and really just wanted to stay at home and sleep. Our quick 30 minute plane ride to Huntsville helped me to get my act together and once we landed he was kind enough to find the first Starbucks to really get me going! While we were in Starbucks he told me that one of his friends who he really wanted to see would be leaving shortly and we needed to meet with him as soon as possible. No big deal, I thought. On the way to his friend's home my boyfriend noticed a cop car. He mentioned it but I thought nothing of it. Shortly afterwards we were stopped by this cruiser. Again, no big deal. After all, what was the worst that could happen? A speeding ticket? So what! I was so wrong! After getting my boyfriend’s license he was told by the officers to get out of the car and turn around and he was handcuffed. He was told that he had an old warrant for his arrest for an old speeding ticket in Alabama . I was so upset! They took him to the police car, handcuffed, and placed him in the back. While I was trying to figure out what to do they informed me that I’d need to sign for his personal belongings he had on him..his cell phone and wallet. In my state of panic I was trying to ask the cops where I’d need to go to pay for his old ticket and what to do; they informed me that I REALLY needed to sign the form to get his belongings first. Ok..so I looked down to sign this form and it said.."Hotep wants to know will you marry him!” WHAT? After screaming and jumping up and down AND dropping the ring I said Yes! Now I could have killed him because I really thought he was being arrested but instead he had planned this all out with the help of a friend that's a cop!

When we returned home to Atlanta I didn't notice an unusual amount of cars near our home. My sister met us at the house with my son and I was just talking and laughing with them. When I eventually opened the door to our home it was packed with family and friends for a surprise engagement party!

I experienced so many emotions that day; from irritability in the morning to disbelief by that evening. It was truly an experience I'll never forget and showed me just how much he loved me and wanted to show everyone this love. Our journey started on this day...10.10.10...

So since my last post I've gotten married! My husband proposed to me on 10-10-10 in the most unusual and wonderful way and we tied the knot on 11-20-10! In planning our wedding we realized that we wanted to be married more than we wanted a wedding so we did our own unique version of eloping! With our children and a few family members and friends we went to a local park and said our vows. It was perfect and I've been blessed with the gift of an amazing husband!

I've been learning so much since getting married. I'm learning about myself in ways I couldn't have imagined. I'm learning about patience and kindness. I'm learning about selflessness and selfishness. I'm learning about committment. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with it all; the magnitude of the committement that we made. But there's noone else I would rather go on this journey with. He is my mirror in almost every way and I imagine my reflection will only continue to get better as time goes on......