Anthropologie Dress


If I could, I would have a pretty dress for each day of the year. And I would wear each and every one of them too. From frilly sundresses with lady like petticoats underneath to warm sweater dresses that hug every curve and leave little to the imagination. I would live in a dress on a daily basis. I would do mundane tasks like grocery shopping and getting gas in something turquoise blue or sunshine yellow. Or maybe I'd go to the dentist in an aquamarine Maxi dress with a freshly painted pedicure. My regular yearly Pap Smear wouldn't be such a chore if what I wore was frilly. In my mind there is nothing better than a dress to make your day a little brighter....

This is my second marriage. The first one lasted for a tumultuous 4 years; 2 of which we actually lived together. He fathered my son, my wonderful 11 year old that I would give my heart to if he needed it. There was so much in that marriage that taught me. I loved hard and I learned hard and today I don't speak to him.


So in getting married for another time I became afraid. Although I've loved my husband for as far back as I've known him I was scared. I was terrified of the "what ifs". My what ifs were actual experiences for me. I knew what it felt like for a husband to leave. For him to declare he didn't want "to do this anymore." I knew the sound of a door closing for the last time. Those were real life experiences; not anxiety soaked fears.


I'm still a newlywed but in the following days of my nuptials I felt fear that this bad thing called divorce could happen again. I was struck by the fact that it.could.happen.again. And then what would I do? I let my fears hold me hostage for a few days and for no reason.


What I learned from my first marriage was that marriage actually takes work. Marriage actually takes forethought; it requires preparation. It isn't a dress rehearsal for someone you're having a good time with but you couldn't imagine having children with. It's being with someone and wishing you could bear their child, even if it meant 36 long hours of labor and stretch marks to your knees. It is forever. It demands that you trust each other.


Marriage makes you admit YOUR faults and shortcomings. It changes you. It requires that you actually like..not just love...your spouse. It is a decision. It is a choice. The kind of marriage you have is a daily choice. You are responsible for what your marriage looks like; how it grows; whether it flourishes and if it will die.

I also learned that marriage is actually fun. There should be private jokes between the two of you; times when you laugh so hard you almost pee on yourself. It's finding the silliness in each other and giggling at times when you shouldn't. It's having your best friend around all of the time with the perks of having sex with them! It's exploring and growing and learning....together.

I learned that. I had to remind myself that I learned these valuable lessons in my first marriage to help me understand what a marriage is and what I needed to do to achieve success. Throughout the past few weeks of being a Mrs my anxiety has subsided. Slowly but surely it is falling to the wayside. I realize that I have all the power in me to grow old with my Mr.

So on the topic of remarriage....use the lessons you learned. Forgive your spouse even though it is difficult. Let go of your painful memories. Grow into your new memories and embrace them. Be thankful for those experiences that helped you to become the spouse you are today. I have, and for this I am so grateful....

Random things I learned this week:

• I don't know everything.
• Marriage is hard work.
• Communication is verbal and non verbal.
• On line shopping can be addictive....
• Say what you mean. Say what you feel.
• Ice in the south equals a week out of school.
• Setting boundaries isn't a bad thing. Set them earlier rather than later.
• Forgiveness is.not.easy.
• Sometimes I'm moody.
• I dislike my husband's cell phone. but I'm working on this.
  
• Saying don't ever talk to me again in life is childish...even though it feels good in the moment.
• Our life plans don't always go as planned.
• TV is capable of rotting your brain.
• I could possibly have a caffeine addiction. Possibly....
• Student loans are like purgatory.
• I'm responsible for my son's mental, spiritual and academic growth. Period.
• I love my husband.
  

This is the picture my husband has saved as his screen saver on his phone. He says it's to remind him of the way i looked at him the day we were married...i hope I'm able to continue looking at him this way for years to come....

I work from home full time. I've been blessed to work in this position for about two years now. I work in the corporate field and until two years ago I had to drive nearly 100 miles round trip daily. It was horrible and I prayed daily for a change! When the opportunity to telecommute manifested itself I promised myself that I would limit my complaints about my job. After all, I was at home...full time!

Currently we are experiencing icy weather in the south. Many stores have been closed or closing early and the schools have been closed all week. My office has also been closed all week but for those of us who telecommute it's been business as usual! I've heard mumblings and rumblings about how unfair this is because we still have to work while those who actually drive to work have been off for days now...with pay.

Life is not fair. It just isn't. Things aren't always going to be balanced. Sometimes the pendulum will swing in our direction and sometimes it won't. Sometimes we'll want to pout and stomp our feet with the unfairness of it all and other times we'll bask in "how fair life is being to us in this moment."

Sometimes we just need to recognize that things won't always work out perfectly. They may not seem fair. But we have to be humble enough to recognize that there are times things work for our favor and may have others feeling that it's not fair. We teach this principal to our children all the time yet as grownups we tend to forget it.

It's ok to feel a slight twinge of jealousy or resentment or whatever when you feel something isn't right for you. But before you allow that thought to take hold and run wildly and loosely remember your blessings; the things you have and the opportunities you've been given. Spend that time being thankful and your blessings in life will continue to grow....life isn't always fair, but that's ok.

Please be patient with me as my posts may center around marriage and love. As a newyled this is such an exciting time in my life and my inspiration to write tends to come from this new experience. So in the spirit of marital bliss here goes....

This morning as my husband made breakfast I said a silent prayer to God thanking Him for this man. My husband and I met when he was 18 years old and I was 20. I knew when I met him that he would be my husband. Through the years of our friendship at times it didn't seem this would ever happen. Fast forward 17 years later and we got married after numerous experiences and a lot of growth for both of us.

My husband is a rare gem. He's one of the most patient people that I know. He's centered and balanced and tries his best to look at things from a positive point of view. He believes in healing relationships. He is amazing with children. He is fun to be around and will do anything for the people that he loves. He is a sensitive man. He is secure. He believes in self growth. He is committed to his committments. He is committed to me and the success of our marriage. I couldn't be more blessed to be his wife.