Random things I learned this week:

• I don't know everything.
• Marriage is hard work.
• Communication is verbal and non verbal.
• On line shopping can be addictive....
• Say what you mean. Say what you feel.
• Ice in the south equals a week out of school.
• Setting boundaries isn't a bad thing. Set them earlier rather than later.
• Forgiveness is.not.easy.
• Sometimes I'm moody.
• I dislike my husband's cell phone. but I'm working on this.
  
• Saying don't ever talk to me again in life is childish...even though it feels good in the moment.
• Our life plans don't always go as planned.
• TV is capable of rotting your brain.
• I could possibly have a caffeine addiction. Possibly....
• Student loans are like purgatory.
• I'm responsible for my son's mental, spiritual and academic growth. Period.
• I love my husband.
  

This is the picture my husband has saved as his screen saver on his phone. He says it's to remind him of the way i looked at him the day we were married...i hope I'm able to continue looking at him this way for years to come....

I work from home full time. I've been blessed to work in this position for about two years now. I work in the corporate field and until two years ago I had to drive nearly 100 miles round trip daily. It was horrible and I prayed daily for a change! When the opportunity to telecommute manifested itself I promised myself that I would limit my complaints about my job. After all, I was at home...full time!

Currently we are experiencing icy weather in the south. Many stores have been closed or closing early and the schools have been closed all week. My office has also been closed all week but for those of us who telecommute it's been business as usual! I've heard mumblings and rumblings about how unfair this is because we still have to work while those who actually drive to work have been off for days now...with pay.

Life is not fair. It just isn't. Things aren't always going to be balanced. Sometimes the pendulum will swing in our direction and sometimes it won't. Sometimes we'll want to pout and stomp our feet with the unfairness of it all and other times we'll bask in "how fair life is being to us in this moment."

Sometimes we just need to recognize that things won't always work out perfectly. They may not seem fair. But we have to be humble enough to recognize that there are times things work for our favor and may have others feeling that it's not fair. We teach this principal to our children all the time yet as grownups we tend to forget it.

It's ok to feel a slight twinge of jealousy or resentment or whatever when you feel something isn't right for you. But before you allow that thought to take hold and run wildly and loosely remember your blessings; the things you have and the opportunities you've been given. Spend that time being thankful and your blessings in life will continue to grow....life isn't always fair, but that's ok.

Please be patient with me as my posts may center around marriage and love. As a newyled this is such an exciting time in my life and my inspiration to write tends to come from this new experience. So in the spirit of marital bliss here goes....

This morning as my husband made breakfast I said a silent prayer to God thanking Him for this man. My husband and I met when he was 18 years old and I was 20. I knew when I met him that he would be my husband. Through the years of our friendship at times it didn't seem this would ever happen. Fast forward 17 years later and we got married after numerous experiences and a lot of growth for both of us.

My husband is a rare gem. He's one of the most patient people that I know. He's centered and balanced and tries his best to look at things from a positive point of view. He believes in healing relationships. He is amazing with children. He is fun to be around and will do anything for the people that he loves. He is a sensitive man. He is secure. He believes in self growth. He is committed to his committments. He is committed to me and the success of our marriage. I couldn't be more blessed to be his wife.

Guest post by my husband, Hotep.

Forgiveness

Never underestimate the power of forgiveness. When you forgive someone for what they have done it's allows healing and peace of mind to set in. In truth you are the one who primarily benefits from forgiving someone. A unforgiving spirit complicates life and stagnates our emotional and spiritual progression. It clouds our reasoning and stops our blessings. It unknowingly smothers truth and infects others causing them to pay for damages that they didn't create. We are held captive to a spirit that we do not have to own. We become prisoner's of our past and victim's of our present. Mark 11:25 and Luke 6:36 are examples in the bible that deals with the dangers of unforgiveness. Resentment, fear, misunderstanding,and confusion are all enemy's of the heart. In order to grow, we have to let go. Forgiving someone does not justify their deeds. It starts the healing process so we can take back control of our lives. I know it is easier said then done. This is why we need the Creator in the center of lives to show us how to properly forgive. In the Quran it states the Allah is the best of planners. (Sura 3:54). Who knows us better than the one who created us? There is nothing more powerful than a made up mind. (Sura 13:11) Ase!

Hotep Nuri

I truly believe that our thoughts are the catalyst for our reality. What we think, we become and what is real in our heads will manifest in our lives. As a newlywed I am learning the importance of caring for my thoughts and being mindful of the affect it can have on my marriage. I realized if I stopped in the moment of my thought, especially if it were a negative one, and asked myself the following questions then I could avert some funky situations. Here are the questions I ask myself:

What is my spouse’s intention?

Is this a worse case scenario thought?

What are some other possibilities?

If you were in this position how would you handle it?

Does this need to be discussed? Does a boundary need to be established?

What is your intention?

Will you React in Fear or Respond in Love?

And then I remind myself that the journey is not in the destination but in all of the beautiful meandering paths it takes to get there. Enjoy it…..