Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. ~Dale Carnegie

Fall seven times, stand up eight. ~Japanese Proverb

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. ~Walter Elliott, The Spiritual Life

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. ~G.B. Shaw, Mrs. Warren's Profession, 1893

Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down. ~Charles F. Kettering

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

...I want to know if you can live with failureyours and mineand still stand at the edge of the lakeand shout to the silver of the full moon,"Yes."...~© Oriah Mountain Dreamer, The Invitation, http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. ~William Feather

I want to be remembered as a lady. I know what defines a lady is subjective but it's what I want people to remember me as. Someone who crossed her legs and sat straight up without thinking about it. Someone who wore dresses on a random Tuesday or Friday in December, March or June. Someone who cried when things made me happy and wasn't embarrased to cry when things made me sad. Someone who believed in appropriate behavior at the table (use your napkin, no belching or passing gas, use your cutlery). Someone who would send thank you cards frequently and seldom forgot a birthday. Someone who believed it was important to start the day with Goodmorning and end the day with Goodnight. Someone who smelled like lavender most times. There are probably a ton of things that I am forgetting or don't come to mind at the moment. But it's important that this is how my loved ones and family will remember me....

As much as I strive to be the woman I was called/created to be I'm not perfect. And it's not that I thought I was on a conscious level but on some level arrogance permitted me to think I was damn near...I guess. But conversations which can lead to insight...is a powerful thing. It knocks you off of your pedestal and allows you to fall flat onto and into reality. See I'm a really easy going, laid back, lavender and butterflies kind of woman. I love easily. I love family. I belive in relationships. I believe in people. Maybe all on a surface level. But when you dig a bit deeper and pry open the layers you see the imperfections. You see the gaping wounds that still need lavendar salve to help them heal. This acknowledgment can only help me. It can only be my catalyst to Open my Eyes to Me. To see that it's not always....someone's else's fault...that I feel the way I do. I have to work on/create belief systems that I truly feel. And I truly feel things. I will only reach my perfection when butterflies are released and my ashes are scattered in the crystal blue sea....until then I'm an ongoing work in progress.

I am going to be the blended love mother of my love's two children one day. In the meantime I spend enough time with them to give me an honarary "step mother" title. And I'm not that evil one either. So in no particular order, here are ways to bond with the steps...

1. Discover their favorite food and indulge them
2. Discover their favorite dessert and indulge them.
3. Take them roller skating.
4. Take them bowling.
5. Go hiking.
6. Go shopping.
7. Talk.
8. Play Games.
9. Try to say yes more than you say no.
10. Say no when you need to.
11. Smile at them.
12. Hug them.
13. Speak nicely about their mother.
14. Write them little notes.
15. Don't always tell..dad.
16. Laugh at their jokes.
17. Listen to their stories.
18. Look at their dances.
19. Give them time alone with their dad.
20. Love them.

When you are wallowing in feelings of doubt and unhappiness, insecurity and fatigue you tend to host a pity party. You may invite others to this party and vent for 30 mins or more your feelings of doubt, unhappiness, insecurity and fatigue. When you are alone in this destructive pity party you tend to drink wine, mope, brood, smoke cigs, sigh, shop, indulge in negative self talk (respond to the voices in your head) and overall tell yourself that you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT TO FEEL THE WAY YOU DO. After all, there is no other way to feel when you feel doubt, unhappiness, insecurity and fatigue. So on and on you go with your unsuspecting victim/listening ear about how awful such and such is..and how wrong you've been done...and just how TIRED you are. Ooo...just writing this is making me feel "over it." Allow yourself to feel what you feel...for a moment..but then GET OVER IT. Get over how you feel at the moment and either do something about it or make the best of it.......or drink some wine.

Marriage. The end all and be all of commitment. The ultimate expression of commitment. Till death do us part..I vow..never to be attracted to another. Right? Once we get married our attraction and desire towards anyone else is ultimately killed, right? Really? This belief system may lead to a marriage that is not rooted in realistic expectations. Our commitment to our committment will prayerfully be the reason Fidelity is maintained. But we have to know that whether in a long term committed relationship/marriage you will always find attraction on some level to other people. It's human nature to find others attractive either on a physical/sexual/spiritual/ intellectual level. It's what you do with that attraction. As with anything else, do you feed it or starve it? Feed it by maintaining a friendship with someone you have an innate attraction to? Or starve it by creating boundaries and not putting yourself in a situation that will prove unhealthy to your relationship. It may be uncomfortable but it's important to have discussions about this with your spouse. Talk about your expectations or beliefs about what attraction is or how it looks when you're in a relationship. Discuss what kind of boundaries are needed and expected. Find out if you and your spouse have similar beliefs when it comes to this area in your relationship. Understand that marriage is going to be a life long process and learning experience but it will not be the cure to our human selves. Practicing the muscle of discipline and character development will be that salve....

Not really anyway. You really don't get Personal Time Off when you are a mother. Even if you're children aren't with you you're thinking about them. Thinking about what they need, wondering if they're ok, planning lunch/dinner. Your mind/spirit/body is always working....so even if you don't feel like doing your mommy duties you have too. And you have to find some positive energy in you to do it with some graciousness and less crabbiness. So isn't it pretty much the same thing in a relationship? You don't really get personal time off. That person is always on your mind, you are concerned about their needs and thinking of ways to be happy and add to their happiness. Even when you don't feel like it. I believe the way to be a successful parent and partner is to remember that. And more importantly, to remember that with your partner. We sometimes lose the politeness and "obligatory niceties" with our mates because they are the ones we get naked with..so they can handle our unpleasant mood and indifferent behavior. But just as a relationship with your child/children can be hurt if you are constantly impatient, don't show love and act like they are generally a pain in your ***...your relationship with your partner can be hurt in the same way. It takes a lot of patience and prayer but we have to push ourselves to be better parents and better partners. And of course...take some time "to yourself by yourself" to rejuvenate your spirit..that is your personal time...and then return to your warm family circle to be the woman that you were called to be.