We aren't finding out the gender of our baby until the day of delivery. I wanted it to be an super suprise....I wanted to hear those words..you have a beautiful.......boy! or girl! When people ask if I have a preference I always say no. My standard response is..I want a healthy, happy, juicy, perfectly developed child. And I mean that. But...do I have a preference?
Years ago I'd daydream of having a daughter. I imagined I'd name her Zion and she'd be chocolate and beautiful and I'd dress her in rainbow colored tights and butterfly shirts. I'd color her room in shades of pink and she'd be my little doll baby to groom. And my reasons for having a daughter started and ended right there. There wasn't any more depth to it.
As my son, Yums, continues to grow up I find myself saying that I wouldn't mind having a house full of boys. I love the mother/son connection and in my opinion raising my boy has been pretty easy. Granted we've visited hospitals on a number of occasions for various bumps and bruises; and he's certainly had his share of playing in school and finding video games extremely more interesting than books! But all in all, he's been a good kid.
So sometimes when I'm quiet and alone in my thoughts I believe that I really wouldn't mind if this little person growing inside of me is another boy but then I wonder about my other reasons for not necessarily wanting a girl.
The truth of the matter is, there is so much more involved in the raising and grooming of a daughter than the way she looks and the color pink. Of course, it would be fun to play dress up with an infant daughter but what happens when she starts to grow up? I wonder, am I capable of raising a daughter for more than the superficial reasons? Can I handle the responsibility that is involved in shaping a nation. And that's what it is...
If I have a daughter I will be raising a nation.
That goes way beyond what she looks like and what she wears. That involves ongoing lessons about self esteem, character, discipline, love, spirituality, culture and so much more. These are the same lessons that I teach my son but I realize that as I teach my daughter these very same lessons she will pass them down through her own teaching when she becomes a mother. What I give her will shape who she is and whose she is. Will she be a part of this world or will she know she's a part of a higher, spiritual realm that demands more?
The weighty responsibility of raising a girl is on my mind. There are certain issues that I still face as an African American woman and I wonder..how will I not pass down those same fears...those insecurities and doubts? Will I be capable of teaching her that she is so much more than the standards the world sets up for women...for Black women?
As I contemplate the fact that I may have a queen being developed deep within me, I trust that I am capable to give her what she needs. I know that she won't just be my pretty little girl but the next great teacher that will raise a nation long after I'm gone.
And I know I'm preparing for that...
Years ago I'd daydream of having a daughter. I imagined I'd name her Zion and she'd be chocolate and beautiful and I'd dress her in rainbow colored tights and butterfly shirts. I'd color her room in shades of pink and she'd be my little doll baby to groom. And my reasons for having a daughter started and ended right there. There wasn't any more depth to it.
As my son, Yums, continues to grow up I find myself saying that I wouldn't mind having a house full of boys. I love the mother/son connection and in my opinion raising my boy has been pretty easy. Granted we've visited hospitals on a number of occasions for various bumps and bruises; and he's certainly had his share of playing in school and finding video games extremely more interesting than books! But all in all, he's been a good kid.
So sometimes when I'm quiet and alone in my thoughts I believe that I really wouldn't mind if this little person growing inside of me is another boy but then I wonder about my other reasons for not necessarily wanting a girl.
The truth of the matter is, there is so much more involved in the raising and grooming of a daughter than the way she looks and the color pink. Of course, it would be fun to play dress up with an infant daughter but what happens when she starts to grow up? I wonder, am I capable of raising a daughter for more than the superficial reasons? Can I handle the responsibility that is involved in shaping a nation. And that's what it is...
If I have a daughter I will be raising a nation.
That goes way beyond what she looks like and what she wears. That involves ongoing lessons about self esteem, character, discipline, love, spirituality, culture and so much more. These are the same lessons that I teach my son but I realize that as I teach my daughter these very same lessons she will pass them down through her own teaching when she becomes a mother. What I give her will shape who she is and whose she is. Will she be a part of this world or will she know she's a part of a higher, spiritual realm that demands more?
The weighty responsibility of raising a girl is on my mind. There are certain issues that I still face as an African American woman and I wonder..how will I not pass down those same fears...those insecurities and doubts? Will I be capable of teaching her that she is so much more than the standards the world sets up for women...for Black women?
As I contemplate the fact that I may have a queen being developed deep within me, I trust that I am capable to give her what she needs. I know that she won't just be my pretty little girl but the next great teacher that will raise a nation long after I'm gone.
And I know I'm preparing for that...
